Posts Tagged ‘special needs parenting blog’
It’s the Little Things that Matter
You think the big things are the most important. The ones that will make the most impact. Saying words. Making a friend. Joining a team. Going to school. Graduating. Those are the milestones we work towards. Right? And yes, of course they are important. But as I grow into being the best mom for my son, and watch him grow into himself, I realize it’s the little things that make the biggest difference in our world. That make the most impact on our every day life and sanity. A smile.…
Read MoreKids who Hurt and the Parents who Love Them
I noticed the little girl right away. 7 or 8 maybe. She was sitting in a chair, on an iPad. Quietly. She had curls. Blonde ones. She was stunning really. I was waiting for my son and impatient. I had a million things to do and lately it felt like I was spending a lot of time in waiting rooms. I heard it before I saw it. The sounds. Like an animal. The iPad hit the table. The girl sprung out of her seat, ran and dived onto the little…
Read MoreYou Have a Really Nice Family
My step-mom died recently. Of cancer. The really bad one. Although I know there are no good versions of cancer. Pancreatic. The survival rate is almost zero. I learned that after I googled. No one would say it out loud. It ate her alive right before our eyes. She went from a larger-than-life, loud, happy, busy woman to a shell. To a 67 year old woman in a nursing home bed. 14 months is all it took. 14 months to eat someone alive. Sawyer recently asked me why it did…
Read MoreLooking into the Future
We chatted today. I was the mom next to you in the neurologists office with the two redheaded girls. Even if my girls weren’t loud and imposing in small spaces, I’m sure you would still remember us. I saw you watching them as you nervously waited for your appointment. And after seeing your beautiful little girl, I’m pretty sure we share more than a love of Wawa frozen cappuccinos. As your little lady sat on the floor with her kindle, I’m guessing I saw more than most moms would in this…
Read MoreNo Autism, Just Love
“Today has been tough. Aubrey has told me all day long, “I don’t want a brother.” Multiple times, and always very serious and sad. I asked her why she felt that way and she said, “Because he just cries too much.” I froze. Aside from wanting to tell her that she does the same and yet we still keep her around, I decided to give her grace instead. I tried to explain to her why her brother gets upset sometimes, and has a hard time staying calm, and that it’s…
Read MoreIs That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
Read MoreAge is just a Number in our World
‘You prepare yourself as a parent for siblings to pass your disabled child by. But wait until your grandkids do too. That one will take your breath away.’ That comment. It was said to me, with love, from a mom that had been doing this for 57 years. Her son is 22. He’s like my amazing Cooper. Nonverbal. Severe. Smart. Funny. Loving. He will need lifelong care. He will forever need help bathing and brushing his teeth. He will never pay taxes or have a job. He will never get…
Read MoreTo the Parents who Admit it’s Hard
To the parents who say it’s hard. And talk about the hard. The ones who don’t hide. Or lie. Or fake it. But instead learn from it. And let the hard make them stronger. I see you. To the parents that have figured it out. Or at least figured it out enough. Thank you for helping others. For supporting and lifting up. For answering a midnight text saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore. ‘And reminding them, ‘yes, you can.’ To the parents who don’t judge. Who offer a hand, dinner,…
Read MoreAcknowledging the Forever
I am a ‘take it one day at a time’ kind of mom. And some days, when my kids aren’t sleeping or I feel like I am losing my mind, I’m a ‘take it one hour at a time’ mom. Just make it through the day. To bedtime. Or through the night. The sun will surely rise. This mothering thing will be easier tomorrow. It’s a new day. But I want you to know that I didn’t start to truly accept my son’s special needs until I began to feel…
Read MoreI Saw You Today
I saw you today. In fact I saw several of you. I was the mom picking up some groceries with my son. My autistic son, that’s all he is. No need to walk on eggshells around us, we were just fine. But I’m not sure you were. When he made unusual noises as I stood at the deli counter you were allowed to smile at me and say hello. It would’ve gone a long way to put me at ease. It wasn’t necessary to look past us as if we…
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