Is That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation.
I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment.
What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone.
I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say.
*Ring Ring
Me: Hello
Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster?
Me: Yes it is.
Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause) Is that what YOU want?
Me: …….
Now I don’t know why she asked that, but she then proceeded to tell me that someone else would call me to schedule the appointment.
So that question was the point of the phone call.
Now if that’s what she does is call folks to ask that, then she has to realize how odd the question is.
I can’t imagine that there are doctors referring kids without discussing it with the parents.
I also can’t see a bunch of parents deciding not to test once they’ve gotten to that point.
I muttered “yes” to confirm that we wanted the appointment, still unsure of what exactly she had asked.
Then I felt my blood pressure rise as all the things I wish I’d said popped into my head.
Here’s what I really wanted to tell her…
NO. That is NOT what I want.
I don’t want him to have autism.
I don’t want him to have speech and language delays.
I don’t want him to have developmental delays.
I don’t want him to have sensory issues.
I don’t want him to have horrific meltdowns that ruin his day.
I don’t want him to have anxiety about changes or transitions.
I don’t want him to be in a special class in school.
I don’t want him to to have unnecessary challenges in his life.
I want to protect him. I want to fix it all for him.
I would give my life to take it all away.
No, this is NOT what I want! But if your office putting that diagnosis in his file will make him eligible for more services or in any way provide help to him that he’s not getting now, then yes.
Yes, I will take the appointment and the tests, and the diagnosis and the label if it means I’m doing everything I can for him.
Because I’m a mom, and that’s we do.
Written by, Ashely Foster
Ashley Foster is a wife and mother of two who enjoys taking trips to the beach with her family. She fights through daily struggles to try to give them all their best lives. You can follow her blog at https://oillifehappywife.blogspot.com/.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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