The thing with growing tiny humans is they are always changing. Learning. Absorbing. Getting bigger. My son Cooper is 12 years old. He wants to ride an Amtrak train more than anything. He has a countdown to see his Grandma. He loves going to school. He also is autistic and technically non speaking on paper. But if you know him you know he has loads of words and sounds and signs and he can spell and read and even use movie scenes to tell us things. It’s unbelievable really. They…
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When I take my son out into the community he wears his headphones and people always attempt to speak with him. In those moments, I have a choice to make . . . to just go with it or to tell them that my son is autistic and non-speaking. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it is draining to explain to people over and over that my son is amazing and autistic. Sometimes I’m tempted to just go the easy route. Sometimes when he doesn’t respond and they say, “he…
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She’s the girl with the big brown eyes, with lashes that go on for days. Thick brown hair that waves and swirls with red flecks that catch the sunlight. A big bright smile when the mood hits her right and a laugh that spreads like wildfire. She started this life healthy. It seemed only to become more uncomfortable by the day. Words that came early and all said with purpose and endless charm. Those very words were stolen from her with no warning or explanation, leaving silence and deep frustration. …
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You just bought your dream home and in the backyard is a beautiful garden. The ground is tilled, and it’s open to plant whatever you want. All you have to do is decide what to plant. Some people may begin planting multiple kinds of fruits. Strawberries, blackberries, and maybe even plant an apple or peach tree! Some may decide that herbs and veggies are the way to go. Thyme, dill, cucumbers and carrots! And some may see an empty garden and get right to work on planting all different types…
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A few days ago, someone said to a friend of mine, who has an autistic son so similar to Cooper that you’d think they were brothers, that her posts about her son were negative. She was upset of course. She didn’t feel like she was being negative. She thought she was just sharing their life. And him. And in fact, she celebrates her son much like I do Coops. I told her my hunch. That people looking in ‘think’ we are being negative when we share because our kids do…
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Something that people may not be aware of, unless you have a family member with a disability, is how much harder our families work to “even the playing field.” The phone calls, the emails, the meetings, the appointments, the therapy, the rearranging of schedules, the accommodations, the constant fight for “fair.” It is consuming and exhausting. My name is Elissa, and I have two little girls. My oldest, Aleena, is 5 and in kindergarten. My youngest, Lexi, is 3 and is in daycare/preschool. Lexi also has autism. Though Lexi is…
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I am not autistic, my son is. And I spend much of time trying to understand him so I can be a better advocate. How he thinks. How he processes. Why he likes certain things. Or doesn’t like others. And how I can help him understand this world that wasn’t really made for him. His brain often feels a bit confusing to me. Mysterious even. Intriguing at the same time. Autism. Blurring the edges a bit. Touching all of his parts. Yesterday, as we were driving together, Cooper saw a…
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I blinked. I closed my eyes for that microscopic second and you grew. Everyday when I watch you float through these halls, a whisper in my heart still sees you as that fragile, tiny soul weighing just a pound coming into this world. I have to pinch myself back to reality watching you giggle so beautifully these days, as my body still tenses, remembering every sound from the ever-chiming hospital monitors. I’ll never forget that warning sound. It’s woven into my being. I look at you, my beautiful boy, and…
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I have been living the autism parenting life for 12 years now. We are in the middle. We made it through the wondering and worrying. Past the sting of the beginning. I like to say we all settled into this secret world. Me. My husband. Cooper. And his siblings. We don’t know anything different. And we couldn’t imagine Cooper being anything other than himself. We don’t whisper autism. We share it. Loudly. Proudly. And with conviction. He is Cooper. Something happened though. Something I knew would come one day. I…
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Something that autism has gifted our family is that it has opened our eyes to another world. We get to see the lives of many people affected by disabilities. When we are at a sporting event, camp, or conference for my son filled with children and adults of all different abilities, I see more love and acceptance than anywhere else. I love that both my children are surrounded by it. They have seen the beauty in differences from the beginning. At the same time, I have one foot in the…
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