We used to not be able to have lamps in our home. That sentence right there. That’s the one that people always comment on when I say it during presentations. Then they chuckle when I follow it up with how for weeks we had to eat with headlamps on. In the dark. At our kitchen table. I’m sharing this here because my son Cooper just had one of his best weekends ever. And I spent a little time last night looking at old photos and remembering the beginning of our…
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Dear Mama, I know you’re scared. I was too. I know this is not what you imagined for your baby. It is okay to be sad and to grieve for the loss of the life you imagined. Let the tears fall, do not try to stop them. You need to feel the loss, the heartbreak, the pain. I know you want to know why. Why is this happening to your beautiful child, your family? This will haunt you in the beginning. Please try not to compare your child to other…
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Growing up on the autism spectrum, eye contact was challenging. Often it felt like an internal pressure from sensory stimulation. As a professional speaker who now gives talks with companies as part of professional development, I often mention getting rid of the interview process because of challenges like this. Instead, I recommend companies do a 1-day job trial to show what autistic employees may be capable of forgoing this challenge. Here are 5 reasons why we should never make autistic people force eye contact: It can be distracting. The structure was…
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Our autism journey officially began four years ago as of today. Adventure is another word that comes to mind. The evaluation will forever be burned in my memory. I don’t think a parent could ever forget it despite knowing the diagnosis going into the evaluation. Still, we choose to focus on my son Gage’s progress, accomplishments, and his ability to tackle the world despite his “limitations”. I also want to acknowledge the trials the rest of my family faces because their feelings are valid. Immediate family, extended family, chosen family,…
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I decided to take a much needed nap yesterday while my two youngest napped. You know that old saying…sleep when the baby sleeps? Well those babies are 2 and 4 and they are double trouble. Between them and the new puppy and early morning wake ups…I’m exhausted. Anyhow, I slept for 2 glorious hours. And I woke up to the most beautiful sound. One I had never heard before. One I had only dreamed about. ‘M-O-M?’ (Said slow. Each syllable pronounced as if he had to think about each one…
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Two weeks ago my autistic son went to his younger brother’s baseball game for the first time. He stayed 15 minutes. A few nights after that he went for the whole two hour game. A few nights after that we brought our youngest daughter with us. And then most recently, Spider-Man (our 4 year old) came too. Which, if you add it all up, means all six of us were at a baseball game together. It was not effortless. Not by any means. It was work. I don’t think me…
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Sometimes it feels like the world is against us. A constant fight for what my son Lucas needs and deserves. And then there are times I’m reminded that’s not always true and our faith is restored. We experienced an amazing act this week and it may sound so silly to some. But it was absolutely everything, especially to this sweet boy. Lucas has a worn out and well loved stuffed chicken. Many in Lucas’ world know how special she is to him. A gift, almost 8 years ago, from Lucas’…
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I just left the grocery store. I only had a few things today so opted for the self checkout today. While I scanned my items, I became aware of two young men next to me. I would say they were both in their 20’s. It dawned on me rather quickly that one was helping the other shop for groceries. He was helping him scan each item, slow and meticulously. Talking him through he step. The gentleman being helped was very much enjoying himself. He was laughing and making very happy…
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To the parents reading the school test scores that will get their child special education services at school, I see you. My daughter is fourteen years old and has been in the public school system since she was three years old. Every year Olivia has an IEP meeting. Her IEP team goes over all of her strengths and weaknesses and then we create goals based off of data collected from previous goals and testing. Every three years they do extensive testing to figure out what range she falls under cognitively,…
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As nature and nurture are woven into our lives, so to are luck and destiny. Luck, by definition is success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions. Destiny, by definition, is the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future. My daughter Seeley is now eight, and on the day she was born, she made our family whole. I can recall every detail of the day. First, we got the call! Labor! Then we rushed, smiled, cried, hurried, called,…
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