You might have heard that people with autism often have a special connection with water. For us, and for our autistic son, Jesse, this couldn’t be more true. From the very beginning, he’s always been drawn to it. As a newborn, baby Jesse was fussy, crying more often than not. But the moment I placed him in the bath, everything changed. His little legs would kick, his eyes would light up, and for those precious moments, he’d laugh and smile. Water soothed him in a way nothing else could, as…
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My sweet boy,We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much needed break for both of us to reset.Now we drive around and hunt for trains.Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are thirteen. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of.We still ride mostly in silence. When you were three the experts told…
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Many years ago, when I was new to the world of parenting a child with a disability, and even newer to sharing our story with the world, a young woman sent me an email about her life. She shared with me that she needed help to live and to bathe and to eat. She said she had physical disabilities and was unable to care for herself independently. She told me she felt like a burden to her family. She felt saddened that she made their life harder. She spoke of…
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How to Deal with a Difficult Diagnosis When others hear we have a special needs son and a daughter with dyslexia we often get asked, “How to deal with a difficult diagnosis? How did we deal with it with it being our children?” How to Deal with a Difficult Diagnosis for my Child The day of a diagnosis is one of those events in your life that you remember every detail of. There was shock, fear, feeling scared, and so much more; all the feelings. There was a point where…
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It may not get easier, and some things may not get better, but you have the power to create a world that works for your family. I wish someone would have told me that when my son was first diagnosed with autism. Because, initially, and in the challenging years that followed, I will admit that we felt stuck in a lot of ways. We couldn’t do this or that. Like go to restaurants or church or fly on an airplane, go for walks, visit the mall. We said no to…
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When I became a parent, I had lots of dreams for my child. Most of my dreams revolved around sports: Little League baseball, peewee football, go-kart racing, bike riding, whatever he wanted to do. In fact, since my family is involved in racing, I couldn’t wait to put him in the family race car! I also thought about best friends, building blanket forts, and sleepovers. I wanted to try to be the “cool dad,” lol. Later, I would want to teach him to drive a car, change his oil, change…
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Last night something monumental happened in our little world. Our middle son Sawyer had a gaggle of friends over playing and as they ran from room to room, crashing and bashing and giggling about farts and butts, our oldest son Cooper ran behind. He was the oldest of the whole group on paper. The big brother and yet not. He will be 14 in a few months. But he has no interest in Fortnite or hockey or girls. He doesn’t acknowledge the coolest shoes or ask sliding mitts. Instead he…
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When my son was two years old his daycare provider told me that he would never speak, make a friend, or ride a bike. She later went on to say he would never hit a baseball. She told me at my car after I had buckled my son into his car seat and closed the door. She had followed me out. She was determined to tell me her predictions. In the eleven years that have since passed I have replayed that conversation a million times in my head. It broke…
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My daughter is 15 years old; she is autistic and has sensory processing disorder and anxiety. She is only semi-verbal, and for us, that means she has words to make requests, she can echo words and phrases, and she can answer yes or no questions with about 80 percent accuracy. However, she does not have conversational language skills. I cannot ask her how she feels and get an answer back. Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, I am awoken by the sound of my…
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I just encountered a gentlemen with a disability in the airport. I would say he was in his fifties. I heard him coming. He was saying the most cheerful ‘hi’ to every person he passed. I noticed he was mostly being ignored. Which I guess isn’t all that uncommon. When a stranger says hi it’s probably common to ignore. When he said hi to me I gave him the most cheerful hi I could give. He stopped walking and asked if I was flying somewhere today. I smiled and said…
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