There is a saying I heard a while back that reframed a lot of how I parent my autistic son. Am I helping or hurting? Let me set the scene first. I ordered pizza for my four kids tonight. It’s been a day and pizza sounded good. I was busy doing a few things so my second son Sawyer, who is 13, dished up his plate. He is not one to wait for food. Minutes later when I walked into the living room I saw his older brother Cooper eating…
When limbs get long and thick– and hair sprouts— so does an intellectual yearning for more. It’s no longer the curiosity to sneak out of a side door– to dig hands in dirt, spill rice or roll in grass. it’s no longer the fear of her climbing into cars– it’s a lust for something new and immaterial– for living and exploring– and for me, It’s a heavy fear of the world that she is so curious about. the world she yearns to be part of.…
This question seems simple, but it is extremely difficult to answer. My daughter Olivia is 16 years old. She is autistic, and she has Sensory Processing Disorder and anxiety. Olivia has words for labeling and requesting but is considered nonspeaking or semi-verbal because she cannot hold a conversation. There was a time when Olivia did not even acknowledge Christmas. She did not understand what was going on, and opening presents did not interest her at all. Now that she’s older, she actually loves Christmas! She loves the lights, the tree,…
The holidays are always tricky for our family, just like they are for so many families with special-needs children. Our daughter is seven, but a simple Amazon search for “gifts for 7-year-old girls” doesn’t capture what she’ll actually love. If a toy isn’t tied to her current interest, it’s set aside within seconds. And when all her favorite shows seem to be from before 2015, gift hunting feels more like a treasure quest than a holiday tradition. This year, though, we’re preparing for something different. The greatest gift we could…
When My son Isaac was born, it was just before Christmas. We spent that year just staring at this perfect baby that was all ours, envisioning the Christmas days we had to come, the visits to Santa, and the traditions we would make as a family together. That was before we knew how hard Christmas would be for our boy—before we knew that what we thought he wanted was not actually what he needed. It was before we knew that wrapped presents made him feel uneasy, that moving the room…
When my son’s autism was discovered twelve years ago, I wasn’t ready to think about the future. Nope. I focused solely on the present and helping him. And it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t like help just rolled in. I learned quickly there is no prescription for autism. Instead, it was trial and error. And a whole lot of advocating (fighting) for services and supports. But hard work paid off. And he was worth every bit of the hard. When he turned 8, I was ready to dip my toe into…
To the parents raising disabled children who feel the weight of the holidays creeping in because Christmas isn’t magical yet… hold on. The holidays bring big feelings when your disabled child isn’t ready for the wonder. Some children find the magic late, but it’s no less perfect when it comes. Sometimes, it’s even more. There was a time when Christmas passed us by almost unnoticed. She didn’t care for the tree or the music, didn’t light up at the sight of wrapping paper or twinkling lights. And that silence… it…
I wake her every morning to begin a brand new day. I sit beside her, asking questions, slowing her steps, listening to her read, guiding her through mistakes, celebrating every victory. I nudge her past her comfort zone, toward chores, and cooking, and cleaning. I set alarms, build routines, help her move from one moment to the next. I give her her meds, teach her how to care for herself, walk the thin line between her independence and the dangers she cannot see. I place her sensory tools close, soft…
“Don’t compare,” they say.“Your child will progress in their own way, in their own time.”“There’s beauty in the different.”All wonderful advice. All true.But it’s not simple.It stings sometime.I live within our bubble.To be honest, I am the bubble.I protect. I contain. I shield. But within that autism bubble, sometimes I drift in and out having a typical child, having other children in my life.Sometimes I look outside; other times I don’t.Sometimes I can’t.We aren’t always part of that outside space.And then come the moments where I see it — typical.A…
When you have a child diagnosed with autism, suddenly everything feels different. Almost as if you are looking at your same life, your same child, even yourself, through a funhouse mirror. It’s you. It’s them. It’s the same house. It’s the same family. But it’s just different. I’ve felt that way for fourteen years now. And while I am more than confident about so many things, navigating autism in the world is confusing. The days of black and white are gone. It’s all greys now. Last night my fourteen-year-old, nonspeaking…
