Posts by Kate Swenson
Leapfrogging Can Turn Into Caregiving
This morning my third son had an early morning hockey practice. Setting the alarm for 6:30 am for a Saturday always cuts a little deep. Ten minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off, my eyes snapped open. Lights were on everywhere. And laying on my chair was my boy. Full dressed in his hockey clothes. He woke up and dressed himself. Typical development amazes me. I say that a lot on here. But it’s true. Typical development is a gift. Children that just know and do and try…
Read MoreThis Is Our Autism
When I started this page years back, I did it for a few reasons. I wanted to find families like mine. And kids like my Cooper. I wanted to learn all that I could about autism, the spectrum and what it could look like as my sweet son aged. I wanted to build a village of parents, teachers, therapists, and friends who wanted to support and raise each other up. I wanted to create a safe space for families to share the unique wins and struggles that we encounter on…
Read MoreHelping vs. Hurting: A Parenting Lesson from Raising My Autistic Son
There is a saying I heard a while back that reframed a lot of how I parent my autistic son. Am I helping or hurting? Let me set the scene first. I ordered pizza for my four kids tonight. It’s been a day and pizza sounded good. I was busy doing a few things so my second son Sawyer, who is 13, dished up his plate. He is not one to wait for food. Minutes later when I walked into the living room I saw his older brother Cooper eating…
Read MoreI Wish Someone Had Prepared Me For All Of This
When my son’s autism was discovered twelve years ago, I wasn’t ready to think about the future. Nope. I focused solely on the present and helping him. And it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t like help just rolled in. I learned quickly there is no prescription for autism. Instead, it was trial and error. And a whole lot of advocating (fighting) for services and supports. But hard work paid off. And he was worth every bit of the hard. When he turned 8, I was ready to dip my toe into…
Read MoreParenting in the Grey: Navigating Autism and Braces
When you have a child diagnosed with autism, suddenly everything feels different. Almost as if you are looking at your same life, your same child, even yourself, through a funhouse mirror. It’s you. It’s them. It’s the same house. It’s the same family. But it’s just different. I’ve felt that way for fourteen years now. And while I am more than confident about so many things, navigating autism in the world is confusing. The days of black and white are gone. It’s all greys now. Last night my fourteen-year-old, nonspeaking…
Read More“We Try Again Tomorrow”: The Words That Carried Me Through a Hard Day
Today, I received a phone call to pick my autistic son up from school. He was really struggling. And while no one got hurt, and no property was damaged, he wasn’t being safe. They did the right thing to call. They care about him. And I appreciate that. Only this isn’t the first time since starting high school. It’s also not the second or third or even fifth. School is really hard for my son. He also wants to be there. And he’s in the right spot. I have never…
Read MoreWhen Autism and Christmas Magic Meet
I have never met a person who loves Christmas more than my oldest son Cooper. So much so that he has been asking to put up a Christmas tree for well over a month now. I managed to hold him off until today. But when he got off the bus today, he immediately pointed up to the grey Minnesota sky and said… SSS-NNN-OOO-W. Cooper doesn’t have a lot of words. He is technically nonspeaking. I would say he has 20 or so words. 5 that he uses consistently. And maybe…
Read MoreLove Your Kids. Ignore the Hate.
Parenting a child with a disability is not a competition to see who has the highest functioning kid or the most severe kid. It’s not about bullying a fellow parent for admitting they are having a hard day. It’s not about alienating them because they see something different than you do. It’s not about arguing over labels or word choice. And it’s especially not about belittling a fellow parent who is newer to the journey. A parent who is asking questions. And asking for help and support. Acceptance takes time.…
Read MoreBeing Seen Just As We Are
A few nights ago I had one of those pinch me moments. I had just put the car in park and turned off the engine. I grabbed my phone to check a message quick. I paused as I heard a siren driving by. My son Cooper, who is 14 years old, calmly touched my arm. When I looked up he smiled and pointed to the fire truck and then tapped his chest. He wants to ride in a fire truck. This I know. Together we got out and made our…
Read MoreAutism to the Front: Seeing Families Like Mine
When my son was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism nearly 11 years ago, I remember feeling like we had the only child with autism. As we made our way home from his diagnosis appointment, we wondered where the other families like ours were. We couldn’t possibly be the only ones going through this. For so many years, the isolation continued. At first it was just a feeling. We were different. And boy did our world get small. But then for a lot of years we couldn’t safely leave our home.…
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