From Darkness to Light: Reflecting on Our Autism Journey and Celebrating Progress

We used to not be able to have lamps in our home. That sentence right there. That’s the one that people always comment on when I say it during presentations. Then they chuckle when I follow it up with how for weeks we had to eat with headlamps on. In the dark. At our kitchen table. I’m sharing this here because my son Cooper just had one of his best weekends ever. And I spent a little time last night looking at old photos and remembering the beginning of our…

Read More

The Beauty of a Single Word

I decided to take a much needed nap yesterday while my two youngest napped. You know that old saying…sleep when the baby sleeps? Well those babies are 2 and 4 and they are double trouble. Between them and the new puppy and early morning wake ups…I’m exhausted. Anyhow, I slept for 2 glorious hours. And I woke up to the most beautiful sound. One I had never heard before. One I had only dreamed about. ‘M-O-M?’ (Said slow. Each syllable pronounced as if he had to think about each one…

Read More

Autism Victories: The Joy of the Little Things

Two weeks ago my autistic son went to his younger brother’s baseball game for the first time. He stayed 15 minutes. A few nights after that he went for the whole two hour game. A few nights after that we brought our youngest daughter with us. And then most recently, Spider-Man (our 4 year old) came too. Which, if you add it all up, means all six of us were at a baseball game together. It was not effortless. Not by any means. It was work. I don’t think me…

Read More

Am I Brave Enough?

I just left the grocery store. I only had a few things today so opted for the self checkout today. While I scanned my items, I became aware of two young men next to me. I would say they were both in their 20’s. It dawned on me rather quickly that one was helping the other shop for groceries. He was helping him scan each item, slow and meticulously. Talking him through he step. The gentleman being helped was very much enjoying himself. He was laughing and making very happy…

Read More

To My Sweet Boy

My sweet boy, It’s your old mom here. I have something I want to tell you. Something I want you to know. Years ago, during our hardest days, I made a promise to you Cooper. You didn’t know it. I made it late at night. One of those desperate internal conversations that happen at 3 AM in a scared mother’s mind. We were two years into your nonverbal autism diagnosis although I was nowhere near an expert. We had just said goodbye to kindergarten. It wasn’t working and you needed…

Read More

A Simple Card, an Unforgettable Gift: The Impact of Inclusion and Support

There is a memory I often share about Mother’s Day. In fact I think it’s even in my book. It impacted me so deeply. So much so that I’m still talking about it 10 years later. My son Cooper is the one who first made me a mom. Today he is 12 years old. He has a diagnosis of severe nonverbal autism. I like to tell the moms and dads of newly diagnosed children that it takes time. Every part. Acceptance. Understanding. Advocacy. It all takes time. Ten years ago,…

Read More

Two Brothers Side-By-Side

I’m raising two boys side-by-side. There is barely two years between them. When I found out I was pregnant with my second son all those years ago…I had plans. Big ones. Visions. Expectations. Best friends. Teammates. When the oldest was diagnosed with severe nonverbal autism it all changed. Ever so slightly at first. Than greatly over time. They didn’t play together. They didn’t even acknowledge each other. But time…it has a way of healing and growing. Understanding comes. Loyalty. Love. Devotion. And advocacy. Tonight I watched the one with no…

Read More

Believing in Progress: A Brother’s Love

Tonight my older son Cooper and I went to his 10-year-old brother’s baseball game. We were armed with a blanket, a chair, an iPad, hotspot, snacks, a drink, and talk of a visit to the fire station this Saturday. And belief in a boy with autism. Belief in progress and hard work. See he is 12 years old. He doesn’t care much for sports. But he sure loves his brother. He stayed for 1 hour and 45 minutes. I saw almost every inning. I saw my son catch. I saw…

Read More

My Son Saves Me Everyday

I want to tell you about a boy. He is ten years old and his name is Sawyer. In my book I say he saved me. The story goes onto share how my heart stopped beating during active labor with him. I came back for him. So he would be okay. I knew he needed me to live for him. But it’s more than that. He’s saved me countless times since then. I spent the last 72 hours with hundreds of moms. Moms like me. And Sawyer stood by my…

Read More

‘Brother Doesn’t Talk Mama……’

‘Brother doesn’t talk mama……’ That’s what he said to me a few months after he turned three. He was downstairs with his older brother. Eight years between them. The conversation one sided when I peeked in. The older brother dancing to the songs on his iPad. The younger brother playing dinosaurs. The moved around the room together. Clumsily. Interacting at times. But more often not. ‘Why doesn’t he talk mama?’ I did my best to explain autism to the tiny human who I know without a doubt will grow up…

Read More