Posts by Kate Swenson
My Life Is Grief, Joy, Love, and Heartache
For me, as a mom, this parenting autism life, especially alongside my neurotypical children, has often like a contradiction. A double-edged sword or sorts. A constant contradiction of joy and grief, both coexisting and intertwined. Neither wrong. A few days ago, I walked into a gym full of fifth graders and their parents and teachers. A living wax museum it was called. And my son, Sawyer. He was Barack Obama. Or Barry as we learned he liked to be called. He was lined up amongst his peers. He was ready…
Read MoreAutism Parenting: We Practice Everything
We practice. We practice everything. I remember in the beginning l, after the diagnosis of autism was said out loud, feeling overwhelmed about all of the things my son needed to learn. Things that came seemingly easy for most children. Walking safely, using silverware, speaking, playing, self care, I could go on and on. When I thought about all of it I almost couldn’t breathe at times. I didn’t know how to do it all. So, I did what any logical person would do…I made a list. I ranked them.…
Read MoreHow the World Reacts to My Autistic Son
When we are out in public, my biggest worries are not about how my autistic son will act. Instead I worry about how the world will react. I don’t worry about his mannerisms. Or his uniqueness. Because I know exactly who he is and how he is going to behave. And that he is learning and growing. I know he will flap his arms in pure joy. I know he will run. And sit. And maybe feel the cool of the cement with his cheek. I know he will squeal.…
Read MoreConnecting Over Coffee: Empowering Moms Through Shared Experiences and Hope
I just came from a coffee date with a wonderful mother who has a daughter like my Cooper. The power of the internet brought us together. She wants to change the world like I do. She wants to take away the stigma and the fear and educate like I do too. Over coffee, we talked like old friends about our kids, our jobs, our goals, poop, behaviors, aggressions, medications, good schools, bad schools, the fear of puberty, self injuring…you know, all the things moms talk about when they find another…
Read MoreA Mother’s Wish: Slow Down Little One
A few nights ago, during family movie night, I found my lap wide open. I wasn’t holding a wiggly toddler. I wasn’t grabbing snacks or drinks. I was alone, in a recliner, feet up. Now this may not sound rare to most, but as a mom of four, I often feel like my body is comparable to a jungle gym. A few minutes went by before my 11-year-old appeared at my side. He tugged on my sleeve and told me that his cheeks felt hot. Which in our house is…
Read MoreThis Isn’t the Autism I Imagined
When my son was diagnosed ten years ago, I knew nothing of the diagnosis. Not a thing. I researched of course. I found Rain Man. And dark grainy videos on YouTube of individuals on the spectrum struggling. I wondered where my son would land. The savant side? The hard to watch side from those videos? Or somewhere in between? As time went on Hollywood brought us the The Big Bang Theory and The Good Doctor. Eventually other shows too. Our autism looked nothing like those shows. I worried and I…
Read MoreA Mother’s Plea: Teach Your Kids About Kids Like Mine
I need your help moms and dads… I need you to teach your kids about kids like mine. The ones in the other classrooms at school. The faces you may not recognize in the yearbook. My son is 13 years old. He’s a 7th grader this year. He also is autistic and technically nonspeaking on paper. But I can proudly say he has loads of words and sounds and signs and he can spell and read and even use movie scenes to tell us things. It’s unbelievable really. They told…
Read MorePromises to My Son: Shattering Stigmas, Embracing Autism
My son, I want to make a few promises to you. Because we have a lot of stigmas to shatter around autism. And you are just the kid to do it. With a little help from your old mom. I will carry you on my back when you can’t walk yourself. I will hold your hands to my face when you feel the need to hit your own head. I will sit on the ground with you when you need a break. I will hold your body tight when you…
Read MoreFinding Autism in Unexpected Places
I looked around while standing in the security line at the O’Hare International airport. Time to go home. I was only here for 24 hours. Not even really. I attended an amazing event for an amazing cause and slept through the night. I call that a successful trip. My hands were full, as they usually are. I was juggling my 2 bags, ID, cell phone and cup of coffee. I always get nervous in the security line. Like I’m breaking some law I didn’t know about. I picture myself getting…
Read MoreA Cell Phone Opened Communication for My Nonspeaking Son
I received a lot of questions when I shared that I was getting my nonverbal 13-year-old son a cell phone. To be honest, I questioned myself. But I had a dream laced with hope and determination. Verbally speaking is not possible for my son right now. He shows no desire. We’ve modeled pretty much every other type of communication you can imagine too. Sign language. Gestures. A speech device. Spelling. And so on. Sometimes his autism feels like a closed door. Or something just out of reach. I can see…
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