Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
To the Woman Who Loved My Daughter Like Her Own
Today is 20 years since you have passed, and the void is forever there. The love you stamped our hearts with is carried with us every day. You are forever missed. A that tribute doesn’t even come close to explaining how amazing and how loved you are. More than a grandmother. Watching my daughter sit on your lap as you sit at the table seems like the most natural thing in the world. Except sometimes it’s not. A nana sitting with her grand baby is something you can take for…
Read MoreAutism Is Autism and Your Words Can Hurt
Comments are made; often in the passing, sometimes with direction. I wonder how deeply some people think about what they say to others. Do they consider if they use hurtful words? I’ve been so fortunate during my journey thus far into motherhood. I have received so much support for the way our children are growing. Sometimes, the narrative changes direction. Sometimes, people are surprised to discover autism is a part of our world. It puzzles me. Honestly, with a little knowledge, it is blatantly obvious how neurodivergence is interwoven around…
Read MoreI Have Some Big Dreams for My Autistic Son
Just look at him sitting there, Sweatpants, t-shirt, in his comfy chair. His hair is too long, one hand on a juice box, and the other playing with Buzz Lightyear’s cat Sox. He doesn’t know what’s going on in my head. All these thoughts run around while I lay in bed. I have some BIG, BIG, DREAMS! Help him learn to communicate. Bring him on lots of play dates! I have some BIG, BIG DREAMS! Help him make friends, who knows where this story will end. Plan big adventures all…
Read MoreI Wanted to Shout “She is Autistic!”
“I am sorry. She is autistic.” This. This is what I wanted to shout in the waiting room at dance class Monday night. I wanted the moms with their beautifully behaved children to know this. I didn’t want Lexi’s behavior to come across as me being an awful parent, or to view Lexi as a naughty girl. I wanted to give the behavior an excuse. I stayed silent. I did not share that she had autism. I did not justify her behavior. I let them think what they wanted. Whether…
Read MoreI Dreamt I Had a Conversation With My Non-speaking Daughter
Last night I had a dream I had a conversation with my daughter. She is four years old, autistic, and non-speaking. Her little voice has been on my mind lately. As her age and receptive language, her understanding of language, had gone up so has her frustration. I think often about how hard she works to communicate her needs, wants, and feelings. She is an excellent communicator. I often wonder what it would be like to know how she is feeling, what she really wants me to know. I think…
Read MoreI Blamed Myself for His Autism
Last night I laid in a full-size bed, inside a tent, under a train blanket, with my eight year old son. He had just fallen asleep. Beforehand, we talked, sang, and laughed. He asked me to hug him tight, and I did as he fell asleep. Slowly releasing him before he completely drifted off. Tight hugs are one of the few things that help him calm his body. Sleep doesn’t come easy for my boy. You can judge and give suggestions, but we’ve tried it all. My son is autistic…
Read MoreAutism Never Crossed Our Minds
Our son Sullivan is autistic and has Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Many people ask us, when did you know your son was autistic? That’s a tricky question because initially we had no idea. Sully had what we know now as sensory issues early on. We had to try many different bottle nipples, he threw up a lot, he stuffed food in his mouth till he choked, he would eat and eat and not like the feeling in his stomach and make himself throw…
Read MoreThank You to the Waitress Who Understood Inclusion
We tried a thing today. It was one of our spur of the moment ideas. My autistic son, Xavier, had gotten up at four again, and to be honest, after we dropped off his younger brother at school, we were all hungry and in need of a caffeine fix. Xavier’s Occupational Therapy appointment had been canceled due to a training his therapist was attending, so we had over an hour to kill. There is a diner that my husband and I both love, and hadn’t been to in a couple…
Read MoreLet’s Teach the World
My son, I want to tell you about the beginning. The beginning of autism. And a bit of the middle I suppose. I used to get so upset when people stared at you. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Screeches. Grunts. High pitched screams. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be melting down. Screaming. Either way it almost sounds the same. Loud. I’d look around. Make eye contact. Sometimes I’d…
Read MoreHe Taught Me How to Truly Listen
A few days ago I was driving myself and my four kids home from my mom’s house in Wisconsin. We had just celebrated Christmas and my SUV was packed to the brim with toys, leftovers, and love. The sky was dark as I navigated the backroads I’ve driven home for 30-some years. I remember being a little girl and dozing as my parent’s car bounced over the same bumpy roads. Only this time I was the parent, and I had three sleeping kids in the seat behind me, and one…
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