Posts by Jaime Ramos
The Weight of Autism
,When I think about that little newborn baby—the first one I birthed, the first true obsession of my life—I recall the haze of sleepless nights and the excitement of new life. Babies are so raw and new; they wholly need you. You carry them and everything they will one day become. The fears, the worries, the hope, the determination. He matters merely because he exists, and to exist is a miracle on its own. Looking at that tiny being, my expectations were simple: health and happiness. But that little baby,…
Read MoreI Am Not Her: Self-Acceptance as a Mother
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about her. The one who probably rises at 5 am to do something wild like go for a run or attend hot yoga. Her time management skills are impeccable. A caesar salad is a treat for her, and she’s diligent about drinking water every day. She excels at work and is fully present at home. She thrives in the routine of each day. She schedules appointments for herself and keeps them. She knows which skincare products to use and what colors to wear. She is…
Read MoreCapturing Memories: A Journey Before and After Autism Diagnosis
Pictures, pictures, and more pictures. I’ve been taking them since my parents gifted me my first camera on my ninth birthday. This was before smartphones and the frenzy of capturing every moment took hold. I love it. Sometimes, after the exhausting bedtime routine, I lie in bed and gaze at pictures of my kids. Yes, the same kids I am constantly with. The ones I just prayed would fall asleep, granting me some alone time. Suddenly, in the quiet and darkness of my room, I miss them. When I look…
Read MoreThe Guiding Hand: A Sister’s Love for Her Autistic Brother
“Keep an eye on your brother.” I blurted it out without much consideration, absorbed in the chaos of managing my children on my own. The words were meant for my 5-year-old daughter regarding her 8-year-old brother. Their dynamic is far from typical because my son is autistic. He often requires reminders to stay safe as his attention can be fickle. We were at soccer practice, and I was setting up camp chairs. Fearing my son might wander off, his little sister listened and went over and held his hand, a…
Read MoreDear Moms of Autistic Children
Dear Moms of Autistic Children, This screenshot I took last year showed up in my memories today. It was in reply to a story I posted on my blog page of a video of my son. He was looping the same question over and over again in bed. I still remember how bad the message made me feel. Sometimes I receive messages like this, and they encompass a variety of tones. Some are kind, inquiring when Jesse achieved certain milestones or how we reached them. Those messages don’t bother me…
Read MoreA Special Bond: Navigating Friendship and Autism with His Cousin
I don’t know if my son has anyone who considers him their friend, besides his cousin. If you ask Jesse who his best friend is, he says, “Lukas.” It’s not always mutual though. Although, it used to be. My son is autistic and eight years old. He is 18 months older than his cousin. When he was a toddler, he used to adore his little baby cousin, Lukas. They grew up together as toddlers and littles, wrestling and laughing. And Lukas looked up to J as his big cousin. He…
Read MoreUnforeseen Paths of Motherhood
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I’m ashamed to admit that this is how I feel somedays. Don’t get me wrong, I never expected parenthood to be easy, and I know we don’t have it the hardest. But when I get the rare chance to reflect, I feel it. The exhaustion of living at a heightened level. There’s always something in life with a child with autism. It may be a new behavior that has popped up or resurfaced, or a program that requires hours of paperwork, or never-ending…
Read MoreProtecting the Spirit: Autistic Children in a World Not Built for Them
Although it’s now changed when I first started my blog, I named it “Johnny’s Spirit” after my son’s nickname. While Johnny is his nickname, I want to explain the “spirit” part. As a parent of an autistic child, one of my biggest concerns is protecting my son’s spirit. His being, his essence, the part of him that you can’t describe but only feel. It’s what makes him who he is. The world we live in was not built for him. People may try to push him into a mold that…
Read MoreFinding Shared Understanding: Care for the Caregiver Retreat 2023
A few weeks ago, I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Care for the Caregiver Retreat in Minnesota, put on by the More Than a Project and Finding Cooper’s Voice. It’s hard to put into words the sense of camaraderie and love I experienced during that time. When my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder three and a half years ago, I withdrew into myself. Even before the diagnosis, our family had become isolated. Going out in public became a challenge as I couldn’t bear the judgmental stares…
Read MoreLetting Go of Parental Pressure: Embracing Life with an Autistic Child
Some days, I wish we could just be. As a mother, I want the best for my children and our family. But sometimes, the pressure to do it all can be overwhelming. As a parent of a child with autism, the pressure can be even greater. There are countless therapies, sensory toys, vitamins, and schedules that are touted as essential for our children’s growth and development. But with so much information out there, it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough or doing it all wrong. I’ve often felt…
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