Posts by Jaime Ramos
More Than a Distraction: An Open Letter to My Son’s Teachers
To the Teachers Complaining About My Son Being in Their Class, First, I want you to know I get it. I understand that the blunt way I was told about your frustrations with my son wasn’t just about him. It was about you feeling hung out to dry. About being expected to manage him and 25 other students without the support you need. I see that. And I want you to have that support, not just for my son, but for you and for every child in your classroom. Because…
Read MoreAutism and International Travel: The Charm of Big Ben
If you had been in Central London anywhere from Trafalgar Square to the Houses of Parliament two years ago, you might have seen a family hurrying after a little boy in noise reduction headsets, weaving through the crowds on Whitehall. A determined little boy, followed by his own personal entourage. That was us. And if you had told me years earlier that we would be there, I would have said it was impossible. For many families with a child with autism, it might be and I completely understand that. If…
Read MoreThe Kind of Friendship Caregivers Need
I can fully, and without a trace of shame, admit that I don’t have many friends. Making friends as an adult is hard. As a mom, it’s even harder. And as an autism mom? Multiply that by a million. I’ve learned something over the years that no one really talks about: being a caregiver makes friendship complicated. It’s not that you don’t want to be a good friend. You do. But most days, you’re just trying to survive. You’re navigating therapies, appointments, meltdowns, medications, school meetings, and the daily emotional…
Read MoreAutism Acceptance Month: What I Hope People Will Finally Understand This Year
Every April, Autism Acceptance Month rolls around, and with it, I find myself hoping—hoping that this year, maybe things will be different. That maybe, just maybe, people will take a moment to listen, to learn, to be kind. That maybe we can combine awareness and genuine acceptance. My Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year 1. That People Take the Opportunity to Learn Autism isn’t a one-size-fits-all diagnosis. It’s a spectrum, and no two autistic individuals are exactly the same. My biggest hope is that people take the time to…
Read MoreA Moment That Stayed With Me: Motherhood and Autism
There’s a small moment from years ago that has always stuck with me. Even now, it makes me feel sad and a little guilty. But I also think it perfectly captures where I was in my journey through motherhood at the time. My husband and I had taken our kids—our son, about five, and our daughter, around two—to a playground. I never did outings like this alone because my son, who is autistic, would elope (run off) often. The second he took off, someone had to be ready to chase…
Read MoreThe Elf on the Shelf and the Complex Joys of Autism
Our elf on the shelf experience encapsulates a lot about my son Jesse’s journey with autism. When her was around four, my sister bought Jesse a boy Elf on the Shelf. She’d gotten one for my nephew and wanted to spread the magic to our family too. I wasn’t a big fan. I’ve always been of the snitches get stitches mindset when it comes to these little overpriced spies. But it was a thoughtful gesture, so I went along with it. It’s funny how the typical things you never even…
Read MoreWhere Joy and Fear Collide: Our Life with Water and Autism
You might have heard that people with autism often have a special connection with water. For us, and for our autistic son, Jesse, this couldn’t be more true. From the very beginning, he’s always been drawn to it. As a newborn, baby Jesse was fussy, crying more often than not. But the moment I placed him in the bath, everything changed. His little legs would kick, his eyes would light up, and for those precious moments, he’d laugh and smile. Water soothed him in a way nothing else could, as…
Read MoreA Little Sister’s Big Heart: Loving and Protecting Her Autistic Brother
There’s something about the way she she holds onto him in this photo. It tugs at my heartstrings every time I see it. She’s the younger one, the little sister, but there’s nothing “little” about the way she loves him. Her brother has autism and she knows sometimes he needs a little extra guidance, love and protection. When she takes his hand, wrapping her arm around him with a sense of protection that seems far beyond her years, it’s as if she’s shielding him from a world that doesn’t always…
Read MoreWhy I Can’t Hate Autism: A Mother’s Journey
I can’t say “I hate autism” anymore. I haven’t said it much, but I have. There are moments when I desperately want to be angry at autism—during a colossal public meltdown, the relentless screaming in the car, when things get broken at home, or worse, when my son can’t cope and it seems like something else has a hold on him and won’t let go. I want to be angry at something. I want to blame this invisible force that seems to inhabit our lives and shadows us everywhere. There…
Read MoreThe Weight of Autism
When I think about that little newborn baby—the first one I birthed, the first true obsession of my life—I recall the haze of sleepless nights and the excitement of new life. Babies are so raw and new; they wholly need you. You carry them and everything they will one day become. The fears, the worries, the hope, the determination. He matters merely because he exists, and to exist is a miracle on its own. Looking at that tiny being, my expectations were simple: health and happiness. But that little baby,…
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