Posts by Jaime Ramos
Autism Acceptance Month: What I Hope People Will Finally Understand This Year
Every April, Autism Acceptance Month rolls around, and with it, I find myself hoping—hoping that this year, maybe things will be different. That maybe, just maybe, people will take a moment to listen, to learn, to be kind. That maybe we can combine awareness and genuine acceptance. My Hopes for Autism Acceptance Month This Year 1. That People Take the Opportunity to Learn Autism isn’t a one-size-fits-all diagnosis. It’s a spectrum, and no two autistic individuals are exactly the same. My biggest hope is that people take the time to…
Read MoreA Moment That Stayed With Me: Motherhood and Autism
There’s a small moment from years ago that has always stuck with me. Even now, it makes me feel sad and a little guilty. But I also think it perfectly captures where I was in my journey through motherhood at the time. My husband and I had taken our kids—our son, about five, and our daughter, around two—to a playground. I never did outings like this alone because my son, who is autistic, would elope (run off) often. The second he took off, someone had to be ready to chase…
Read MoreThe Elf on the Shelf and the Complex Joys of Autism
Our elf on the shelf experience encapsulates a lot about my son Jesse’s journey with autism. When her was around four, my sister bought Jesse a boy Elf on the Shelf. She’d gotten one for my nephew and wanted to spread the magic to our family too. I wasn’t a big fan. I’ve always been of the snitches get stitches mindset when it comes to these little overpriced spies. But it was a thoughtful gesture, so I went along with it. It’s funny how the typical things you never even…
Read MoreWhere Joy and Fear Collide: Our Life with Water and Autism
You might have heard that people with autism often have a special connection with water. For us, and for our autistic son, Jesse, this couldn’t be more true. From the very beginning, he’s always been drawn to it. As a newborn, baby Jesse was fussy, crying more often than not. But the moment I placed him in the bath, everything changed. His little legs would kick, his eyes would light up, and for those precious moments, he’d laugh and smile. Water soothed him in a way nothing else could, as…
Read MoreA Little Sister’s Big Heart: Loving and Protecting Her Autistic Brother
There’s something about the way she she holds onto him in this photo. It tugs at my heartstrings every time I see it. She’s the younger one, the little sister, but there’s nothing “little” about the way she loves him. Her brother has autism and she knows sometimes he needs a little extra guidance, love and protection. When she takes his hand, wrapping her arm around him with a sense of protection that seems far beyond her years, it’s as if she’s shielding him from a world that doesn’t always…
Read MoreWhy I Can’t Hate Autism: A Mother’s Journey
I can’t say “I hate autism” anymore. I haven’t said it much, but I have. There are moments when I desperately want to be angry at autism—during a colossal public meltdown, the relentless screaming in the car, when things get broken at home, or worse, when my son can’t cope and it seems like something else has a hold on him and won’t let go. I want to be angry at something. I want to blame this invisible force that seems to inhabit our lives and shadows us everywhere. There…
Read MoreThe Weight of Autism
When I think about that little newborn baby—the first one I birthed, the first true obsession of my life—I recall the haze of sleepless nights and the excitement of new life. Babies are so raw and new; they wholly need you. You carry them and everything they will one day become. The fears, the worries, the hope, the determination. He matters merely because he exists, and to exist is a miracle on its own. Looking at that tiny being, my expectations were simple: health and happiness. But that little baby,…
Read MoreI Am Not Her: Self-Acceptance as a Mother
Sometimes, I find myself thinking about her. The one who probably rises at 5 am to do something wild like go for a run or attend hot yoga. Her time management skills are impeccable. A caesar salad is a treat for her, and she’s diligent about drinking water every day. She excels at work and is fully present at home. She thrives in the routine of each day. She schedules appointments for herself and keeps them. She knows which skincare products to use and what colors to wear. She is…
Read MoreCapturing Memories: A Journey Before and After Autism Diagnosis
Pictures, pictures, and more pictures. I’ve been taking them since my parents gifted me my first camera on my ninth birthday. This was before smartphones and the frenzy of capturing every moment took hold. I love it. Sometimes, after the exhausting bedtime routine, I lie in bed and gaze at pictures of my kids. Yes, the same kids I am constantly with. The ones I just prayed would fall asleep, granting me some alone time. Suddenly, in the quiet and darkness of my room, I miss them. When I look…
Read MoreThe Guiding Hand: A Sister’s Love for Her Autistic Brother
“Keep an eye on your brother.” I blurted it out without much consideration, absorbed in the chaos of managing my children on my own. The words were meant for my 5-year-old daughter regarding her 8-year-old brother. Their dynamic is far from typical because my son is autistic. He often requires reminders to stay safe as his attention can be fickle. We were at soccer practice, and I was setting up camp chairs. Fearing my son might wander off, his little sister listened and went over and held his hand, a…
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