Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
I’ve Had Many Jobs, but Being Your Mom is My Favorite
I am lucky enough to be Declan’s mom. I always wanted to be a mom and thank goodness I have my one-and-only child. I became a parent at “advanced maternal age.” Declan is 10 years old, non-speaking, and autistic. He uses AAC (a dedicated iPad with TouchChat) to communicate. I’m a Mom, not a warrior. I’m more of a lover than a fighter. I’m not a warrior or a mama bear. Although hibernation sounds nice. I am working on getting more sleep. I don’t find it helpful to frame myself…
Read MoreMother’s Day 2021
Someone recently said to me…’your hands are sure full.’ And when I responded with an ‘um yep.’ She said…’better full then empty I always say.’ And I’ve thought about her words many times since. My hands are very full and soon, when baby is born, filled to capacity. Full is good. Full is amazing. But it’s also chaotic and loud and hard sometimes. I had very few expectations for today. I wanted to watch my middle son play hockey. Which I got too! (Go Sawyer!) And I wanted a picture…
Read MoreWe Can’t Be Scared Anymore
I remember years ago, when my son was first diagnosed with autism, a mother of a child with needs saying to me… ‘I have five children in total, one with autism. My husband works nights and weekends and I need to be able to go to the grocery store with my kids. I don’t have a choice.’ I remember being so frustrated with her, me, life, everything. Our world was shrinking quickly. The places we could actually go dwindling. My son was unable to sit. Or wait. He couldn’t handle…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
Today we visited the Como Park Zoo & Conservatory. It’s a smallish, local zoo that is perfect for our boys. And with covid state restrictions, the capacity is limited and we can move and explore at our own pace. We told Cooper yesterday that we were going. He woke up at 2:45 am this morning ready to go. Thankfully, he was ok with setting a countdown timer for our departure time of 1:15 pm. He also used his voice to say Z-O-O about a thousand times. By noon he waiting…
Read MoreI’m Lucky Enough to be Your Mom
My Dearest Nicholas, You made me a mother six years ago. My first Mother’s Day was spent in the NICU. You came into this world with a number of challenges. Swallowing issues, developmental delay, sensory difficulties, non-verbal Autism, a rare genetic mutation, the list goes on. Despite not being able to talk, as your mother, I still know exactly what you want. I know when you point toward the kitchen counter, you need a tissue from the Kleenex box. I know when you bring me your tablet, you want to…
Read MoreDon’t Mistake My Kindness for Weakness
I’ve thought and thought on this subject. I’ve taken every inflection and word to heart. And, I simply don’t agree. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Why don’t you put down your phone and bleeping take care of your kids?!?” First of all, I am not anything like you! I do not have the luxury of going to get my nails done, or a facial every other week. I don’t get to go on weekend mini girls trips every once in a while for self care. I…
Read MoreHope is Just a Dream
I spent the first four years of my son’s life in a frantic state of hope. A hope that he would be “healed” like so many of the stories I had been incessantly devouring. Such as the story of the boy who spent his early childhood spinning disks on the floor–unable to connect with his mother sitting directly across from him–who later went on to be a successful CEO. Like the girl, full of quirks and disconnect, who went on to be the cheerleading captain of her high school. And…
Read MoreBig Things in Our World
So today, we did something really brave. Something that’s been on our goal list for years. We took our son Cooper to a restaurant. Now I know to most folks that’s not a big, huge deal. But to us, it is. Cooper went to his last restaurant at 18 months old. We were basically kicked out. It was humiliating. We tried one other time years later but had to leave mid meal. So it’s been 8 long years. And been a goal for the last few. Sitting. Waiting. Eating. Noise.…
Read MoreFacing My Fears
Yesterday I visited my dad in a nursing home. It’s funny how our mind and our heart can play tricks on us. Meaning, I understood he was in there, but I couldn’t really believe it. Even as I type the words ‘nursing home’ I have the urge to erase them. It was also his birthday. 79 years young I told him. As I drove the nearly three-hour drive alone to visit him, I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to see and feel. Would he be the…
Read MoreA Lesson We All Need to Learn
I’m at this point in my life, silly as it may sound, where I try to figure out the lesson when things happen. What did I learn from this? How can I do better next time? Can I help in anyway? And so on. This morning I woke up to an adult woman making fun of my son’s haircut. Which is strange. I mean, she’s an adult. A mother. She can type and speak. My son is ten. The comment didn’t need to be shared. It was not necessary. What…
Read More