Don’t Mistake My Kindness for Weakness

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I’ve thought and thought on this subject. 

I’ve taken every inflection and word to heart.

And, I simply don’t agree.  

I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Why don’t you put down your phone and bleeping take care of your kids?!?”

First of all,  I am not anything like you! 

I do not have the luxury of going to get my nails done, or a facial every other week.

I don’t get to go on weekend mini girls trips every once in a while for self care.

I don’t sit at a bar stool watching all the action that surrounds, or going out to eat at a restaurant with friends is a once in every six month event.  

Hell, I am lucky if I sleep a full four hours on any given night.

So before you judge me for getting ‘on my phone’ to write about how my life is different than yours, and how my children are every ounce as wonderful as yours, please know this…

My children are very well cared for. I assure you.

They are taught empathy and compassion. 

They are taught Grace and God’s word. 

They are taught accountability.

When I write, I am decompressing from my day. I am taking a moment, maybe 15 minutes for ‘self care’.

My self care; writing, advocating, normalizing Autism and Type I. 

I am spreading awareness about Epilepsy and hearing loss.

I am truly connecting with my tribe from around the world. The tribe who understands nonverbal, the tribe who knows Diabetic lows and emergent adrenaline.  

The parents who speak the language of love and acceptance.

These parents know my joy when my little Autie girl stims and signs new words to me. 

They also know the feeling when medical professionals are on a first name basis and they care about our children like their own.  

So while you are judging me for advocating and normalizing my families life, and being ‘on my phone’ please take a step back from your barstool or your so called ‘perfect life’ and realize that not all of us have that luxury.

Written by, Erin Maser

I am a mother of four beautiful girls ages 13, 8, 7 and 4. My youngest just happens to be nonverbal autistic epileptic. I am a Title I Elementary teacher in Wyoming. You can follow our story on our blog at Keep room in your heart for the unimaginable.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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