Posts Tagged ‘brother’
What about you Baby Girl?
I tell myself the mom guilt gets easier. I mean, he’s only three. Every night I lay my head down and I know I’ve done right by your brother, but what about you? How many times were you looking for attention only to be told, “One minute baby”. We both knew it wouldn’t be a minute and away you went. It’s that mom guilt at night that punches me in the stomach. Did you get enough attention today? No, we’ll have to grab your best friend tomorrow and head to…
Read MoreAm I the Big Brother Mama?
I asked you to watch your brother for a second while I made lunches. Which you gladly agreed too. The first thing you ask for when you come downstairs in the morning or in from outside is your baby brother. I heard you talking to him, like you always do. So sweet. You were telling him all about BeyBlades. And how cool there are. You were hugging him on the couch. Holding him so he wouldn’t fall. Every few seconds you would squish the whoopie cushion. Harbor would laugh hysterically.…
Read MoreA Letter to my Son, High School Graduate of the Class of 2019
Dear Sean, Congratulations! You did it! My heart is filled with pride and happiness over all you have achieved and the amazing young man that you have become. Reflecting back as I look through old pictures and letters I have saved for you, brings back so many amazing memories I remember how you knew the names of all the Thomas trains and played with them for hours on end. You even took your favorite train to sleep every night! I remember the elaborate hot wheels tracks that you and your…
Read MoreWill you just be my Mom Now?
I remember distinctively being a little girl and being so excited to sleep in my mom’s big bed when my dad went out of town. It was such a treat. It was the best part of him going on a trip. My son Sawyer now feels the same way. Last night, as I was putting all three boys to bed, Sawyer said to me, ‘Mom, since dad is gone, can I sleep with you?’ I still had a dozen things to do before bed so I said maybe. I said…
Read MoreThe Stuff I Prayed For
A few years ago, when we started to notice that our other son Sawyer was feeling the unique stresses of having a brother with autism, I started taking him out for breakfast every Wednesday. No matter what we wouldn’t miss. It was our time to chat and relax and eat doughnuts! We both looked forward to it. I remember distinctly thinking…I’ve never done anything like this with Cooper. And I might never. My son Cooper had never asked me to go anywhere. He was seven years old at the time.…
Read MoreThe Best Big Brother
My son Xander has always been an amazing kid, above average in every way, but he goes above and beyond as a big brother. He wanted a little sister more than anything. He actually asked Santa! When we told him we were pregnant he was over the moon. He wanted a book that took him week by week thru the pregnancy and he read it more than once. He helped choose her name, he picked clothes and helped us set up her nursery. My favorite memory is at night he…
Read MoreWatching Him Learn About the World
As with anything, there are parts that are beautiful. Parts that are hard, funny and sad. There are challenges. And huge, ginormous victories. There are tears. Both of joy and of pain. There are smiles. And lots of confusion. And even feelings of failure on my part. There is more worry than I ever thought possible. And did I mention love. So much love. Autism isn’t just a word to us. Or a diagnosis. It’s not just a box checked on a form. Or something we advocate for in April.…
Read MoreThank you for being You
I want to thank you kid. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. I want to thank you for being you. This morning I dropped you off for your first day at an all-day play program. You had never been there before. You didn’t know what to expect. I promised games and kids and fun. But I could tell you were a little nervous. On the drive over you were so excited to have a lunch packed. That was a huge deal to you. As usual you were peppering…
Read MoreCan a Baby Heal?
One of the unique parts of autism that I try to share on this page is the relationship Cooper has with his brothers. I’m often asked, ‘Do they play together?’ ‘Do they acknowledge each other?’ ‘What is their relationship like?’ The answer was no, no and non existent. For a lot of years it was so puzzling. If I was to describe it I would say that Cooper quite literally thought he was an only child for the first five years of his life. He was two years old when…
Read MoreSawyer’s Sixth Birthday Celebration
Birthdays are a huge deal in our world. Especially when you son turns six years old! I tried to put a spell on him to keep him little forever but I guess I failed. He is growing up. Somedays it feels like it’s happening overnight. The day started very, very early. 4:30 AM to be exact. Cooper decided it was time to start the day. So, I used that time to blow up balloons and decorate Sawyer’s door. View this post on Instagram Mother of the year at…
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