Posts Tagged ‘boy’
Nobody Ever Told Me: Navigating Life with a ‘Forever Child
Nobody ever told me that when I brought children into this world that there was a possibility that I may have a “forever child”. Of course, all three of my children are forever mine. However, one will forever be with me until I can no longer care for her on my own. Nobody ever told me I would teach my child to talk and that I would hear those words come from her early. I would see small gestures come from her tiny hands to accompany those words…only to have…
Read MoreSounds of Happiness: Embracing Cooper’s Unique Joy
Cooper, Last night you were upstairs with your brother. It was long past your bedtime…which for Sawyer isn’t strange. That kid would stay up all night long. But not you typically. You have an internal alarm that tells you when it’s 9 pm and it’s game over. Up to bed you go with 7 blankets and a pile of treasures so high it takes you two trips up the stairs. But last night was different from some reason. I heard your sounds first. Laughing. Squeals. Little screams. Hums. Giggles. You…
Read MoreA Special Bond: Navigating Friendship and Autism with His Cousin
I don’t know if my son has anyone who considers him their friend, besides his cousin. If you ask Jesse who his best friend is, he says, “Lukas.” It’s not always mutual though. Although, it used to be. My son is autistic and eight years old. He is 18 months older than his cousin. When he was a toddler, he used to adore his little baby cousin, Lukas. They grew up together as toddlers and littles, wrestling and laughing. And Lukas looked up to J as his big cousin. He…
Read MoreAutism, Aggression, and the Power of Remembrance
Every night I lay with my son until he falls asleep. I’ve done this since he was a baby. I sneak out of his room and reset our home for the next morning. Tonight while we were laying down he said to me. “You cried in the month of June, on a Thursday, you ran away to the sun room, and I came to tell you sorry.” I said “why did I cry buddy?” He turned his head to face away from me on his pillow and replied “because I…
Read MoreUnveiling the Silent Fears: Sending My Nonspeaking Child to School
I don’t think we talk about our fears enough. I know when I do, as a mom to a nonspeaking boy, my fears are often brushed aside. Or downplayed. And I think it’s because fear makes people uncomfortable. Or they want to fix it. But there isn’t always a solution. Acknowledging our fears forces us to go to that uncomfortable space. But the older I get, I am learning to lean in. And share. So here goes… This morning my 12-year-old nonspeaking boy with a big diagnosis got on a…
Read MoreFinding the Light: Hope and Understanding for Families with Autistic Children
The comment read, ‘for some families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about it all night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our hardest days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every day at 3 am. We lived in this place of…
Read MoreBound by Love: Navigating Motherhood with My Colorful Boy
From the very beginning of it all, you have been mine. My heart outside my chest. And I’d have given anything to be your person. For so long I prayed to be given a glimpse into your world. I just wanted to sit next to you, and you not shy away. I wanted to play next to you with bubbles, cars and blocks, and not cause you to shift activities, preferring your own company. For so long I was losing sleep, worrying that we wouldn’t ever be able to be…
Read MoreHis Bravery Looks Different
Let me tell you about a boy. A boy who at twelve years old shows more bravery than most adults I know. But his bravery looks different so most overlook it. He has very few words. Not much for conversation. But his eyes…they tell a story. If you listen to him. Patiently. If you don’t rush him. And wait. He will tell you. If you don’t talk over him. Or speak for him. He will tell you how he hears things louder than you. And smells the faintest smells. And…
Read MoreFinding Balance: Navigating the 4th of July with Autism
Tomorrow is the 4th of July. A fun, typically outdoor, social, loud, hot holiday. It’s also a holiday that can be very challenging for families like mine. And put a lot of stress on us. See, our older son struggles with a lot of the parts that make up the fourth. He is scared of fireworks, although he loves to watch them on his iPad. The second he hears one, no matter how far away, he takes off running and hides in our pantry. Parties overwhelm him. Most noises are…
Read MoreDoes He Understand Everything I Say?
‘Does he understand everything I say? Because sometimes I can’t tell mom.’ My oldest son Cooper was diagnosed with autism at age three. It wasn’t a surprise by the time the psychologist said the words out loud. He had no words. He didn’t play with toys or acknowledge other kids. He flapped his arms and never stopped moving. He seemed to dislike sleep. Technology was his world. It was as if this world made absolutely zero sense to him. Severe, level three autism with a language impairment. That’s what the…
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