Posts by Laura Simzyk
Questions of Love: Raising an Autistic Daughter
Does she know she has been fighting her entire life? She fought to get nourishment and to breathe as a tiny baby. Fifteen years later she continues to fight. Fight for comfort, fight for words, and fight for peace within her own body and mind. Does she know she was born into a world that wasn’t built for her? Does she know I will move heaven and earth to find the right tools to give her so she can walk through this world as safely and peacefully as she can?…
Read MoreThe Sun on Her Face and the Wind on Her Back
My daughter is 15 years old. She is autistic, has sensory processing disorder, and anxiety. She spends much of her day trying to calm both her mind and her body. There are very few things that are able to regulate both of those things simultaneously. A long walk in nature on a sunny, breezy day is just what she needs to achieve inner peace, even if only for a short time. With the sun on her face and the wind on her back, she walks down the street while humming…
Read MoreI Wonder: Thoughts From a Mother With an Autistic Child
I wonder if they realize how hard it is to have a child who cannot have a conversation. I wonder if they realize it’s even harder to place that child on a bus to be with people you don’t really know. I wonder if they realize we are counting on them to follow a well-written education plan with not only goals for success but also strategies built in that will help my child feel calm and safe when they are anxious, upset, and out of sorts. I wonder if they…
Read MoreReflections on Autism and the Teenage Years
Here we are in the new year, and I’m struggling. It’s an internal struggle, and I’m having a hard time shaking it. The new year is never easy for me, and I think it may be tied to the fact that my dad passed away on New Year’s Day in 1992. I get severe anxiety and sadness every year around this time. I think the anxiety this year may also be tied to my autistic daughter, Olivia, returning to school. This has not been the best school year for her.…
Read MoreI Hope You Know: A Love Letter To My Autistic Daughter
My sweet Olivia, I am writing this as a love letter to you. I have so many hopes for you as you walk your path in this life. I hope you know that, although we were surprised to find out we were having you, from the moment you took your first breath, I said aloud, “I am so happy we had you!” I hope you know that I have been fighting and advocating for you since you were a newborn baby and that I will never stop. Even when I…
Read MoreTwenty Minutes of Everything: A Simple Walk with My 18-Year-Old Son
Today I went on a walk with my son. That sounds like such an ordinary thing to do. However, to me it was really special. My son is 18 years old. He is busy with all the things that teenager’s do. Getting him to stop long enough to utter more than a few words to me is rare. My youngest child had just left on the bus for school. It was beautiful overcast morning temperature in the low 70s. I decided instead of my normal five mile walk that I…
Read MoreBefore Autism
My daughter, Olivia, is 14 years old. She is autistic, she has Sensory Processing Disorder, and anxiety. These photos were taken in 2009, during my daughter’s first year of life. Look at her amazing joint attention. She is always looking directly at me with a smile as bright as the sun. Such happy, beautiful pictures of our baby girl. This was before the regression happened. Before she became locked inside herself. Before the joy of hearing her first words, only to have them all disappear as quickly as they appeared.…
Read MoreSeasons of Autism: What Autism Means To Our Family
Autism has been an ever changing experience in our life. It has had different meanings to us as it’s evolved through the different seasons of our lives. My daughter was diagnosed with Autism in January of 2012. She was just shy of three years old at the time. My oldest daughter had just turned thirteen years old, and my son had just turned seven years old. During those days Autism was overwhelming and hard. Not much information was out there about it during that time, especially in relation to having…
Read MoreNobody Ever Told Me: Navigating Life with a ‘Forever Child
Nobody ever told me that when I brought children into this world that there was a possibility that I may have a “forever child”. Of course, all three of my children are forever mine. However, one will forever be with me until I can no longer care for her on my own. Nobody ever told me I would teach my child to talk and that I would hear those words come from her early. I would see small gestures come from her tiny hands to accompany those words…only to have…
Read MoreA Girl and Her Dog: A Lifeline for a Young Autistic Girl
A young girl encased in a world that requires predictability and a peaceful space finds it really difficult to accept interactions unless she is the one initiating them. When my daughter was little, we had two dogs. She didn’t seem to notice or have a need to be near either one of them. Occasionally, she would allow the smaller dog to lay near her, but she didn’t necessarily connect with him. Both dogs had a sense that they needed to be calm in her presence and would not initiate contact…
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