September 28, 2023
Before Autism
My daughter, Olivia, is 14 years old. She is autistic, she has Sensory Processing Disorder, and anxiety.
These photos were taken in 2009, during my daughter’s first year of life.
Look at her amazing joint attention. She is always looking directly at me with a smile as bright as the sun. Such happy, beautiful pictures of our baby girl.
This was before the regression happened.
Before she became locked inside herself.
Before the joy of hearing her first words, only to have them all disappear as quickly as they appeared.
Before head banging, feet rubbing, pinching, and shrieking became her daily coping mechanisms, sensory processing disorder and a lack of communication frustrated, confused, and stole her happiness and peace.
Before evaluations, constant therapies, school meetings, and sleepless nights
Before she withdrew from the siblings who adored her.
Before I would feel desperation as I tried to find the key to unlock her and place her safely back into our world.
Before the word autism entered our lives
Sometimes I look at “before,” and I wonder why?
This is a picture of a baby girl with her whole life ahead of her. Little did we know what the next year would hold. That her life would be anything but typical. That I would have to open up a world that she didn’t quite fit into.
And little did we know that she would teach us to celebrate every moment. She would show us that the smallest things hold value and beauty.
I will try to look back at “the before”, and celebrate that moment in time. Because as the years go by, “the after” has some pretty remarkable moments too. It can be very complex, but this is the path we walk.
This is Olivia’s extraordinary journey, and I am blessed to let her guide me through every moment in time.
