Posts Tagged ‘autism and siblings’
Remember, Your Sister Talks to Angels
Recently my daughter Sage who holds her feelings in like they never existed, who would rather use her fists to deal with hurt, broke. Her sky blue eyes welled up and her upper lip quivered as a stream of salty tears spilled down her cheeks. My dearest Sage, You have a job more important than other kids your age. Not only do you have to protect your littlest sister from dangerous situations, you must also protect her from hate and evil. Sage, there will always be mean people who spew hate. Yes…
Read MoreThe Secret Club of Siblings
Today is an exciting day. Today, I made a friend. As a young adult in a new city, this is a pretty huge achievement. We met at our apartment complex’s pool after I saw she was reading a book I have been meaning to read and the conversation moved from there. We talked about the places we want to visit when COVID is over, griped about our landlord, joked about how the Midwest is like your annoying sibling — if you’re from there, you’re allowed to make fun of it.…
Read MoreI Forgot About Autism
Hey autism. We forgot about you for a minute. Here we were just living life. Going about our days like “normal” people. Til’ this morning. I had a need for a good coffee and the girls wanted a milkshake so because things have been so “zen” around here, my silly guard was down and we went to the dome. As if we could just do the”get in the car” and “go sit in a restaurant” thing. I forgot. We got out of the car and immediately Rory bolted. I ran…
Read MoreMust Love Autism
“Do you have any siblings?” It’s a classic first date question, and rightfully so — it’s simple and seemingly painless to answer. It leads to an easy conversation. I can’t blame anyone for asking. “Yep, I have a younger brother, Alex,” I’ll reply. The follow-up question is almost always the same. “How old is he?” “He’s 23. We’re almost exactly 18 months apart. He has autism,” I always add quickly. As soon as I say it I wait for the reaction. A lot of the time people respond by listing…
Read MoreMom, What Happens When You Are Gone?
My daughter Isla is 11 years old and has a unique subset of autism that has broken me and put me back together in ways I never could have dreamed. You always assume you will have so much to teach your children and then God giggles a little bit and sends you your greatest teacher in the form of a 7lb 14oz bundle of curls who will eventually be diagnosed with something that is forever. Interestingly enough I have recently been reflecting on the lessons that motherhood has taught me…
Read MoreThey Will Always Have Each Other
On particularly emotional parenting days I’ll watch them sleep. Brothers. Two years apart. One on a typical path with friends, sports, and 1st grade. The other on his own path. Doing everything at his own pace. They share a bed. Neither one acknowledging the other one until bedtime. 8:30 will roll around. Sawyer will still be in the backyard hitting baseballs or riding his bike over a jump with his friends. Like clockwork, Cooper will look around, grab his blanket with one hand, put his other hand on his check…
Read MoreWhen Do We Stop Trying?
When do you stop trying to do the normal stuff? Is it like introducing a new food to a toddler? I read years ago about weaning a baby and introducing food saying you should try your child with something 8-10 times before you accept they don’t like it. Is life the same? Or am I being cruel? We are in our last couple of days of our vacation (we call it a holiday). I have tried my best not to push my son’s boundaries too much but just enough to…
Read MoreTo My Daughter, One Day I Hope You Understand
I watch you so often struggling, and I see you getting the short end of the stick far too often. But I hope that one day you will understand that your Mom loves you and that I tried the best that I could. I had so many dreams of being your Mom. I was going to read fabulous literature to you. I was going to champion your every effort. I was going to have home cooked delicious meals for you every night. I was going to ensure that you had…
Read MoreAutism’s Effects on Siblings
I have two amazing little boys. Cooper is six and Sawyer is four. I always dreamt of having a huge family. I thought for sure I’d have at least four kids. A bunch of dogs too. A full life as they say. In a way I think I thrive on chaos. I love being busy and having fun. If you know me then you know I am rarely sitting down. As a newlywed when I thought of the future I pictured baseball games and school dances. I truly believed that…
Read More"Where's Cooper?"
I’m sobbing right now. I can’t even summarize how this video makes me feel. I’m not there in the journey yet. Every morning Sawyer wakes up and says, ‘Where’s Cooper?” He genuinely cares and wants to see his brother. And my heart hurts every single time because I don’t believe Cooper knows he has a brother. Cooper wouldn’t notice if Sawyer was gone. He wouldn’t question it even in a nonverbal way. I was gone for 5 days last week and got home late on Friday night. When Cooper woke up…
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