A Letter to Special Needs Parents

Dear Special Needs Parent, I See You I see all the nights you FINALLY get your child to sleep, to then wake an hour later for the rest of the day. I see all the miles on your car from driving to and from therapies every day. I see the bags under your eyes from the pure exhaustion you feel. I see the forced smiles when you see other children your child’s age progressing at a much faster rate, while your child struggles. I Hear You I hear the soft…

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The Isolation of Autism

There were a lot of things I did not know when my daughter was diagnosed with Autism, but what was most surprising to me was the isolation. I guess the easiest way to explain it is to remember how much you hated isolation during the pandemic. That was our everyday life. Isolation did not happen immediately. It was overtime and yet it seemed to happen overnight. We went from playdates to therapy and that set us apart. We were no longer carefree. We were thrust into a world neither of…

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Marriage With Autism

Marriage with autism. It’s hard, it’s beautiful, it’s an adventure.  When you see another couple of a special needs child you ask them how they are, and most say “we are great.” You see beautiful pictures on Facebook, but that isn’t always the reality.  I think it’s a topic that isn’t talked about often. Marriage is a challenge for any couple. You have two people living together who are opposites most of the time, so naturally they are going to argue.  Throw a special needs child in the mix and…

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I Wondered Why Autism

Earlier in my journey I would often wonder why. Why my daughter, our family? It seemed unjust, unfair, why did this happen to her? It didn’t make sense, when I looked around I saw other families and their children and everything looked different from ours. Easy, simple, typical We were anything but. We were loud, chaotic, and everything was challenging. I searched for a reason, for something that could explain it. There wasn’t an answer. This was the life she was given, the life we were all given. I didn’t…

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To The New Mama at Therapy

To the new Mama, I met you today as I was taking Lexi to therapy. It was your son’s first day. I could tell right away that you were overwhelmed. Nervous about your son. Wondering how it went. Praying he didn’t have anxiety the whole time. Hoping you made the right decision. Your emotions overwhelmed me with compassion. I wanted to hug you…I DID hug you and later I apologized for invading your space. You told me briefly about your story. Your long road to diagnosis. How you waited so…

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My Son is Many Things

He loves the wind in his hair and the thrill of the motion. His favourite phrase being, “Push me, I’m ready” as he stands between you and your favourite TV programme requesting your partnership. A task where “no” is not an option. And once the swing has been pushed and his legs continue the momentum, he notices as you slink away, once again announcing his right to your role in the task. Social skills are there, but they are on his agenda. Each night he reluctantly enters the land of…

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A Letter to My Autistic Son’s School Team

Dear Team, First and foremost thank you for being here. We want you to know that we are truly grateful for you. We are so excited for this school year. It’s going to sound weird but we have been praying for you and hoping for you. We used to want to control the situation of who Whitman had and what his school year was going to look like but we’ve started simply praying that God would put the right people in our life so Whitman could grow into his best…

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My Autistic Son and Anxiety

It’s a weird thing, anxiety. Purposefully placed inside our minds, as a means to keep us safe from outside harm. It’s there to keep us cautious and on our toes. And thank goodness for that. Can you imagine a world where you had none? Where you walk this earth fearful of nothing. Jumping from high spaces, running at full speed, no brakes, and carrying a “maybe deal with it later” mentality? I bet you answered “yes and no” to each of these. So did I. But my son, those answers…

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She Didn’t Know What Autism Would Bring

I wish I could tell you that the Mom in the picture was wise and ready for whatever came her way. But, she was young and naive and just getting her feet under her after the birth of her first child. Things weren’t going as they were supposed to and behind the smile, she was struggling like never before. Struggling to understand what she was doing wrong and why her baby wasn’t sleeping, eating and was doing so many repetitive things. She had read all the books and taken the…

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Ongoing Acceptance of Autism

On a sunny Thursday afternoon I was reminded of the ongoing acceptance of my seven year old son’s autism diagnosis. I took my daughter to the park across from my son’s school thirty minutes before we picked him up, so she could play. It just so happened that my son’s class was out on the playground where I could see him and his classmates. As peeked over every so often I tried to be careful that he didn’t see me. I watched him and his fellow autistic students play. Anyone…

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