Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs’
The Autism Sibling
Many nights I lay awake wondering if you will be okay… I know you feel alone, but you’re not alone. I am here with you. I know you are scared, but don’t be, Mommy is here for you. I know you don’t quite understand it all. It’s ok, because Mommy is here to help you. You get angry and that’s ok. You have every right, because it’s not fair. You wonder why this happened to you. Mommy will help you get through it. You wonder if I see you. I…
Read MoreSome Don’t Follow the Beaten Path
Some kids never follow the beaten path…Whether it’s from birth or from a later date, some kids don’t follow the beaten path. They don’t meet milestones on time. They don’t follow the norm. They don’t do what every other kids is seemingly doing. My son Cooper is that way. He takes note of what he is ‘supposed’ to do and does the opposite. Some people call him a free spirit. Some call him stubborn. Even challenging. Autistic, disabled, special needs…all words thrown in. It’s hard sometimes. I won’t lie about…
Read MoreLosing His Normal
Summertime is different for some kids… So many of you are asking me about Cooper’s summer plans. A valid question. He finished up school yesterday. He is now officially a 5th grader. He absolutely understands that school is done for the year. I know because yesterday when we walked him to the bus he held up one finger the entire way and had us repeat…’one more day.’ He likes his reassurance that one. Summer breaks are different for kids like Cooper. Or maybe it’s just him. I guess I’m not…
Read MoreYou are a Gift to all of Us
Dear Daughter, You are such a light in our lives and in the world. You are smart, strong, beautiful and have a heart of gold. You are full of compassion for others (and a pinch of sass). I can only imagine what it must be like growing up with a sibling with autism. I mean, we as adults get stressed, anxious and sometimes scared, so I know it must be the same for you. Kids are supposed to grow up in a calm environment and sometimes that’s just not possible…
Read MoreWhen I Dream I Hear Your Voice
When I dream, I hear your voice. The sweet song that will be snatched away by the light of day and eyes awake. You tell me stories of your life, a life that I have never known and will never know outside of eyes closed. You sing tenderly to me as we walk hand in hand. Your body moves like velvet falling over a keyboard. Smooth. Gentle. Quiet. You point to fascinations and exclaim delight. All the words that you require are no longer lost. You are no longer lost.…
Read MoreHelping Your Children Find Their Way
When your son shouts “Shopping!” at 6:50am, you forget about a lie in, pull on yesterday’s joggers, and get your son dressed. You react to a verbal request with no hesitation. You do it because you have spent years waiting for your son to talk. Years crouching down, holding up picture sequence cards and trying to work out what your son wants. Years praying to hear his voice, the tone, the amplification, the bit of his personality that you have waited to get to know. As you turn into the…
Read MoreSaying “Yes” to Help Doesn’t Make You Weak
Let’s see if this sounds familiar to any of you. A few months ago I was at the vet with my two dogs and two kids. As I sat there struggling, I was trying to keep two dogs back from trying to greet all the other dogs in the room. I had my autistic son in between my legs keeping him from collapsing on the floor and stopping him from running free. I had the dog’s paperwork in one hand being juggled and occasionally falling on the floor. My daughter…
Read MoreThe Calm to Their Chaos
Life has slowed down over here. We are so used to running to and from, in and out. But we don’t mind. Because we have a baby to hold and snuggle. Sawyer and Harbie fight over who gets to hold her next. Harbie insists she is his baby. Sawyer, being a mature 8, refuses to argue but also insists that she is his. And Cooper, he is still taking his time. I know he’s proud though because this morning he tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention, and…
Read MoreHe Grew up Overnight
My toddler aged years overnight. He was tiny when I left. A little boy when I came home. I keep studying him, stealing kisses and hugs, trying to stop time. It’s not working though. Because my older two look like teenagers now. And in the question of why did post-partum Kate cry about today…while doing dishes? Sawyer told me that two of his neighborhood friends are in his older brother Cooper’s general Ed classroom, which he visits throughout the day. And they told Sawyer that his older brother is cool…
Read MoreA Life Without Words
Six years ago, a therapist tough loved me. My son had recently been diagnosed with autism. On paper he was what they call nonverbal. There are lots of ways to explain what that means. It’s not black and white. It’s a complicated, unique, description. For him, it meant he had no spoken words. Not one. He had no consistent sounds for certain words either. He didn’t use sign language. Or a speech device. He couldn’t type his wants or needs. It meant if his sock was bunched or his head…
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