You are a Gift to all of Us

Dear Daughter,

You are such a light in our lives and in the world.

You are smart, strong, beautiful and have a heart of gold. You are full of compassion for others (and a pinch of sass).

I can only imagine what it must be like growing up with a sibling with autism.

I mean, we as adults get stressed, anxious and sometimes scared, so I know it must be the same for you.

Kids are supposed to grow up in a calm environment and sometimes that’s just not possible at our house. We try our best to keep an even keel, but you witness your brother having meltdowns, and your parents stress.

I know it affects you.

I see sometimes how you take a parental role with your brother and try to get him to calm down when he’s upset and it both warms my heart and makes me sad that you feel you need to do that.

But that’s just the way our life is.

I’ve been reading how often times, kids who have a sibling with special needs, feel the strain their parents are under and feel like they need to be the best at everything so they don’t induce that same strain on their parents again.

I want you to know it’s okay to be you. No pressure. Whoever you are going to be, I will love you unconditionally no matter what.

You are such a good person and an amazing sister to your brother.

Even though sometimes you might feel frustrated because we don’t go out together as much, and sometimes he acts out when you have your friends over, I see your kindness towards him.

Whenever we get a treat you make sure your bro gets one too.

Sometimes on the weekend when I want to stay in bed a little extra, you get yourself breakfast and some for him too.

If we go out together, you’re like a 2nd mother to him and make sure he is within sight.

You help him at the dinner table too.

I just want you to know I see it all.

The other day when I asked you to go check on him in his room I heard you go in and say “Hey, how ya doin’ buddy? I love you”.

My heart nearly burst.

Even though he can’t really say it, your brother loves you a lot too.

Whenever you ask him if he wants a hug goodnight, he always says yes and leans in.

When you’re scared to go downstairs, or down the hall at night to the laundry room, you ask him to hold your hand and go with you. He always does.

If you’re upset he says “sister doesn’t cry?”

The love and compassion between you and your brother has lightened my heart and helped show me that you don’t always need to hear the words ‘I love you’.

You can just feel it.

You gave me that gift by being my daughter and the best sister.

Love,

Mom

Written by, Laura Costas

My name is Laura. I’m from Vancouver, Canada and a mom of two awesome kids. My son is a teen on the autism spectrum. Our blog is called The Autism Ride on Facebook and it’s about our son’s (and our family’s) journey with moderate to severe autism and all of the ups and downs that come along with that. My intention is to be real about all sides of autism, the good, the challenging and the downright heartbreaking.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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