Saying “Yes” to Help Doesn’t Make You Weak

alicia 1

Let’s see if this sounds familiar to any of you.

A few months ago I was at the vet with my two dogs and two kids.

As I sat there struggling, I was trying to keep two dogs back from trying to greet all the other dogs in the room.

I had my autistic son in between my legs keeping him from collapsing on the floor and stopping him from running free.

I had the dog’s paperwork in one hand being juggled and occasionally falling on the floor.

My daughter kept asking me a million questions about what was going to happen next. 

I had my purse hanging off my shoulder about to fall at any moment.

I was sweating and stressed.

Then this nice lady who looked concerned asked me if I needed help.

Of course I responded with, “No, Thank you, I am okay.”

Why is it so hard for us to accept or ask each other for help?

Is it pride? Is it because we’re worried we’ll be judged? Is it because we’re ashamed we can’t do it alone?

For me, I think it’s a little bit of each. 

For the longest time I thought I could handle it all on my own. I was determined to not ask for help or accept help.

But as the years go by, I realize that asking for help isn’t showing your weakness, it’s showing my deepest strengths in knowing I need help.

See, Kyle my son takes a lot of my time and effort. If I didn’t ask for help sometimes then the rest of my family would lose out.

Morgan wouldn’t have any Mommy time.

My husband would get zero attention from me because I would be too tired.

I would be exhausted and that isn’t fair to my family or myself. 

Self-care is one of the hardest things to accomplish for oneself. You can’t take care of yourself if you don’t let others help you.

One of the most empowering things I have done for myself is getting used to asking for help when I really need it. 

It didn’t come easy. Like many new mothers, I was under the assumption that I was just supposed to know how to do this 24-hours-a-day job on the first try.

I felt like I was supposed to do it all, work a 40 hour a week job and then come home and clean, cook and take care of my family.

I have found that asking for help has made me a happier person and in return allows for me to give more of my heart and attention to my family when it is needed most.

So it’s time.

Stop being afraid to ask for someone to hold the door.

Stop being afraid to ask someone to help you carry something.

Stop saying “no thanks” when someone offers to watch your child for a little bit so you can get things done.

Stop thinking you have to do it ALL.

Say YES to HELP.

You Matter too!

Written by, Alicia Kiechle

My name is Alicia. I am a proud mother of two amazing kids. I have a beautiful daughter named Morgan who is 7 years old and I have my energetic son Kyle who is 4 years old. Kyle was diagnosed on the autism spectrum and is currently nonverbal. Kyle has opened my eyes to a whole new world and a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Love needs no words!”  I am a Reading Specialist in an all-inclusive elementary school, and I also have taken on the role as the Autism Advocate and Coach within the building. I spend all my spare time trying to promote autism awareness and reminding people to always choose to Be Kind For Kyle! Join us on FB at Be Kind For Kyle.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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