Posts Tagged ‘special needs sibling’
Sawyer, My Brother and your Brother are Both Autistic
A few weeks ago, Sawyer received a handwritten letter in the mail from a boy named Dylan. He is 13. He has a brother with autism too. I sobbed when I read it. This little boy’s letter started a conversation I have been so desperately wanting to have with my son. Thank you Dylan and his mom. Take a read. Dear Sawyer, My name is Dylan and I am 13 years old and live in Texas. My mom watches your mom on the computer. She told me about you and…
Read MoreWho Wouldn’t Want a Brother like you?
To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…
Read MoreLetting him Experience Life without Me
This one. This one right here. He was the little for almost six years. Now he’s the middle. In a way he’s always been the oldest. He knows that. I know that. It used to be unspoken about. Until one day he asked me. He said, ‘I’m the older brother, aren’t I mom?’ I smiled. I cried. I hugged him. He knew. He loves fishing, riding bike, playing baseball and hockey. He loves being away from home. Being gone. Doing stuff. Socializing. He has no time for movies or iPads.…
Read MoreI Love Holding Your Hand Mama
‘Sawyer, hold onto your brother on the dock.’ I was climbing out of the boat, holding a baby, a pop and two bags. Sawyer and Cooper were out long before me and were headed towards our truck. Which, in most cases wouldn’t be a big deal. But in our world, it is. We have to be very, very careful. Cooper, our son with autism, is a runner. He bolts, he drops, he flops, he runs, and he sits. And rarely does he walk in a straight line. He also typically…
Read MoreWhat about you Baby Girl?
I tell myself the mom guilt gets easier. I mean, he’s only three. Every night I lay my head down and I know I’ve done right by your brother, but what about you? How many times were you looking for attention only to be told, “One minute baby”. We both knew it wouldn’t be a minute and away you went. It’s that mom guilt at night that punches me in the stomach. Did you get enough attention today? No, we’ll have to grab your best friend tomorrow and head to…
Read MoreA Letter to my Firstborn
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
Read MoreThe Best Big Brother
My son Xander has always been an amazing kid, above average in every way, but he goes above and beyond as a big brother. He wanted a little sister more than anything. He actually asked Santa! When we told him we were pregnant he was over the moon. He wanted a book that took him week by week thru the pregnancy and he read it more than once. He helped choose her name, he picked clothes and helped us set up her nursery. My favorite memory is at night he…
Read MoreThe Day He Passes You
I absolutely love being a boy mom. Race cars, dirt, and ornery smiles. I had just found out we were pregnant that week with our second blessing. We were sitting on the couch after my oldest sons evaluation awaiting to hear the words I already knew were coming. “You’re son is on the spectrum”. My sweet toddler. Laying on the floor with a car on top of his chest. Spinning the wheels. Months later we find out the baby is a boy. Our second boy. Spinning car wheels flash in…
Read MoreThank you for being You
I want to thank you kid. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. I want to thank you for being you. This morning I dropped you off for your first day at an all-day play program. You had never been there before. You didn’t know what to expect. I promised games and kids and fun. But I could tell you were a little nervous. On the drive over you were so excited to have a lunch packed. That was a huge deal to you. As usual you were peppering…
Read MoreThe Day I Became your Mama
My oldest child, my twin, and the one I’ve sometimes wanted to bust in the chin. Sarcasm, or na? See what I did there. A rhyme for you. I bet you don’t have the slightest clue, but it’s true, God gave me you! You were the one who made me a Mama, more than 25 years ago. I was a mere 20 something years old, when you came. You were a gift from God, ain’t he good! You my daughter, bring joy to my day, come what may. Many times…
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