Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
A Letter to My Son, A Special Needs Sibling
A thank you letter to my Son… Being an older brother to a sibling with severe autism has not always been easy. It’s a job you never asked for but you took with stride. At times it was a very difficult and that is putting mildly. Thank you for loving your little sister wholeheartedly. You were her light in the darkest of times when her life was filled with sensory overload, when nothing made sense to her little body and she was completely overwhelmed by our world. When she would…
Read MoreTo My Incredible Husband – I Thank God For You
A life partner or soulmate is a person who accepts you for exactly who you are without the desire to change or fix you. There is a deep and unspoken respect between both partners. Your strengths compliment theirs and you hold each other tightly during challenging times. The healthiest relationships are rooted in open and frequent communication. Following my first marriage, it took time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin and redefine what truly makes me happy. Although I burdened myself with the assumption that I’d be a single…
Read MoreTelling the Story of a Boy with Autism
When I walked into the store, you were standing in the produce section near the fruit. The first thing I noticed about you was your jacket. I love that color blue, and it looked nice with your dark hair. I walked past you, and I almost tripped over an empty basket someone had left in the middle of the aisle. I glanced over my shoulder and I smiled. I rolled my eyes a little. “Who would leave their basket like this?” You looked up from your bag of apples, and…
Read MoreMoms, You are Enough
“Maybe if you didn’t baby him, he would talk more.” Seven years ago, spoken by a person long since absent from our world, yet the words remain a stinging reminder of the blame imposed on mothers of children with special needs at various junctures of our journeys. Self- blame, along with the judgement of others often intertwine, creating an incredibly crippling feeling of guilt; unyielding at times, as we as parents…as moms, attempt to navigate the challenges associated with raising a child on the spectrum. Merely a half a century…
Read MoreThe Girl in the Shrubs
Yesterday was a warm day and a sweet reminder that better days are on their way. Seagulls dipped down low over the playground where my children played. The air carried the ocean smell and the sounds of children laughing despite a Pandemic. The best sound is children laughing. I pushed my neighbor’s child on a tire swing and I had my eyes on my son. I knew my daughter was across the playground with a friend and her mother. The sun was warm against my face and I felt happy.…
Read MoreI Will Sit With You in the Dark
Hello! I see you down there. You must be a fellow special needs mom. We can recognize each other you see. I know where you are right now because I’ve been there, and I’ll be there again. I know that the hole you are in is deep, and it’s dark and it’s scary. I know it feels like you will never get out, like you will never feel the warmth of the sun on your face again. Never feel joy. Hope. I know that you are trying to figure out…
Read MoreYou Don’t Have to Walk This Path Alone
Sitting in the dark, of course I did it too. Too proud or too ashamed to show my tears. I remember my Gran: “You are one of us, we don’t cry, we straighten our back, chin up and smile head high, no matter what.” She told me that when I was slightly younger than my daughter. She was lecturing me because I cried over other kids bullying me. Tough skin, tough love. She was that kind of a woman. It also taught me not to show my hurt…my tears are…
Read MoreHaving a Tribe Can Make All the Difference
“Build your tribe. Find your village. You’re going to need them.” I remember looking up at our pediatrician through tears as she said those words to me shortly after delivering my son’s Autism diagnosis. She explained how dynamic and changing our lives would be and that we would need to find others who understood. The gravity of those words didn’t quite register with me at first. I mean, I had friends. I had family. What did she mean I needed others? At first, I was lost in my grief for…
Read MoreEven in the Dark, You Are Not Alone
I’ll sit with you in the dark, when you know, but you have to wait. Wait for others to believe you. Wait for insurance approvals. Wait for evaluations. Always waiting to hear what you already know. I’ll sit with you in the dark when you feel alone. When others tell you they’ll pray for you. When they tell you stories of how they know someone who knows someone. When they tell you that God gives special kids to special people. When they tell you, “but they’re so cute” or “they’re…
Read MoreMy Son is Not Failing; Your System is Failing Him
They said, “your son has the highest needs of anyone in the school”. And as a mother, what I heard was, “your son is the most challenging child we have”. Like an almost “admission of irritation” on their part; Or so it felt. That statement wasn’t necessary. In a meeting that I called; me, myself, as a concerned parent, as a special needs Mother, those words didn’t need to fall from anyone’s lips. Because it’s a statement made without a practical solution. Unnecessary. “Your son has the highest needs of anyone…
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