Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
We Can’t Be Scared Anymore
I remember years ago, when my son was first diagnosed with autism, a mother of a child with needs saying to me… ‘I have five children in total, one with autism. My husband works nights and weekends and I need to be able to go to the grocery store with my kids. I don’t have a choice.’ I remember being so frustrated with her, me, life, everything. Our world was shrinking quickly. The places we could actually go dwindling. My son was unable to sit. Or wait. He couldn’t handle…
Read MoreYou are My Best Teacher
Cooper, Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Our tenth one together. And while traditionally the child would be saying nice things about the mom, I’m switching it around this year. Because yesterday I had the most amazing realization. And while I’ve known for a while, yesterday it truly sunk in. You, my son, have taught me more than any other person on this earth. You’ve taught me to see…really see. You’ve taught me to listen…not just hear. And you’ve taught me the importance of getting off the beaten path…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
Today we visited the Como Park Zoo & Conservatory. It’s a smallish, local zoo that is perfect for our boys. And with covid state restrictions, the capacity is limited and we can move and explore at our own pace. We told Cooper yesterday that we were going. He woke up at 2:45 am this morning ready to go. Thankfully, he was ok with setting a countdown timer for our departure time of 1:15 pm. He also used his voice to say Z-O-O about a thousand times. By noon he waiting…
Read MoreI’m Lucky Enough to be Your Mom
My Dearest Nicholas, You made me a mother six years ago. My first Mother’s Day was spent in the NICU. You came into this world with a number of challenges. Swallowing issues, developmental delay, sensory difficulties, non-verbal Autism, a rare genetic mutation, the list goes on. Despite not being able to talk, as your mother, I still know exactly what you want. I know when you point toward the kitchen counter, you need a tissue from the Kleenex box. I know when you bring me your tablet, you want to…
Read MoreDon’t Mistake My Kindness for Weakness
I’ve thought and thought on this subject. I’ve taken every inflection and word to heart. And, I simply don’t agree. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Why don’t you put down your phone and bleeping take care of your kids?!?” First of all, I am not anything like you! I do not have the luxury of going to get my nails done, or a facial every other week. I don’t get to go on weekend mini girls trips every once in a while for self care. I…
Read MoreHope is Just a Dream
I spent the first four years of my son’s life in a frantic state of hope. A hope that he would be “healed” like so many of the stories I had been incessantly devouring. Such as the story of the boy who spent his early childhood spinning disks on the floor–unable to connect with his mother sitting directly across from him–who later went on to be a successful CEO. Like the girl, full of quirks and disconnect, who went on to be the cheerleading captain of her high school. And…
Read MoreBig Things in Our World
So today, we did something really brave. Something that’s been on our goal list for years. We took our son Cooper to a restaurant. Now I know to most folks that’s not a big, huge deal. But to us, it is. Cooper went to his last restaurant at 18 months old. We were basically kicked out. It was humiliating. We tried one other time years later but had to leave mid meal. So it’s been 8 long years. And been a goal for the last few. Sitting. Waiting. Eating. Noise.…
Read MoreFacing My Fears
Yesterday I visited my dad in a nursing home. It’s funny how our mind and our heart can play tricks on us. Meaning, I understood he was in there, but I couldn’t really believe it. Even as I type the words ‘nursing home’ I have the urge to erase them. It was also his birthday. 79 years young I told him. As I drove the nearly three-hour drive alone to visit him, I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to see and feel. Would he be the…
Read MoreA Lesson We All Need to Learn
I’m at this point in my life, silly as it may sound, where I try to figure out the lesson when things happen. What did I learn from this? How can I do better next time? Can I help in anyway? And so on. This morning I woke up to an adult woman making fun of my son’s haircut. Which is strange. I mean, she’s an adult. A mother. She can type and speak. My son is ten. The comment didn’t need to be shared. It was not necessary. What…
Read MoreComplicated Beauty
One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that there is more than one way to look at something. Most things are complicated. Intricate I guess. They aren’t simple. I’ve even learned that my heart and mind can feel differently too. As if at odds with each other. I just took my oldest and youngest sons to the park. Our park. The one place where we can move comfortably without fear of judgement of the boy who moves and communicates and thinks differently. It’s our favorite place. On…
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