Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Little Big Things
When I share my son’s autism, my favorite parts to share are the little big things. The moments that happen that are so huge, yet so subtle, that sometimes I don’t realize they happened until hours later. Like this morning. At 3 am. When I was awake with a toddler who refuses to develop a love for sleep like her mama. My son Cooper is 11 years old. A tween. A soon to be sixth grader. He loves bullet trains, his grandparents, and episodes of Family Feud. He wants to…
Read MoreHis Brother’s Safe Space
A few days ago we took a boat ride. Sawyer brought two friends. A brother and sister who are very much a part of our family. The big kids, Cooper included, all wanted to sit in front and screamed at Jamie to go faster. They were also supposed to watch for logs but that part didn’t happen. As we boated along we hit some rough water. It only lasted a minute or so. Pretty common on a Friday on the St. Croix River. Anyhow, Cooper squealed as a bit of…
Read MoreUnderstanding and Acceptance
People get really nervous around individuals who are non speaking. Or folks who use a wheelchair. Or who look different. I didn’t know that before I had my son Cooper. Before he led me wide eyed into the world of disability. Without knowing he showed me how a person can be invisible. A person standing front and center. Some of it’s subtle. The overlooking of a person. Some is not. And it’s hard to see. As his mom it’s hard to not get mad and sad and frustrated. Because I…
Read MoreSmall Big Things
Something huge happened yesterday. But amidst the chaos of putting on sunscreen and watching kids jump into the pool and picking up wet towels I missed it. I was busy throwing a party. I wasn’t paying attention to small big things. My son Cooper is 11 years old. He loves balloons and parties and the frosting on cupcakes. He said his first word at age 9. It was mom. He says it long and drawn out, pausing on each letter as if he’s plucking them down from the sky. MMM-AW-MMM.…
Read MoreA Brave Day
Let me tell you about a boy. A boy who at eleven years old shows more bravery than most adults I know. But his bravery looks different so most overlook it. He has very few words. Not much for conversation. But his eyes…they tell a story. If you listen to him. Patiently. If you don’t rush him. And wait. He will tell you. If you don’t talk over him. Or speak for him. He will tell you how he hears things louder than you. And smells the faintest smells. And…
Read MoreIt’s Our Normal
My 11 year old son and I just passed a group of boys his age. Some older. Son younger. One was on a cell phone. One was doing tricks on his bike. A few were shooting hoops. I noticed them right away. Older boys. Almost teens. But then I realized the boy holding my hand is almost the same age. It was one of the slow moving realizations. They were smarting off to each other. Being silly. Pushing the limits. Not being bad. Doing what kids do at that age.…
Read MoreTouch
This little boy traced my face while I was sleeping this morning. I knew it was him before I opened my eyes. Once I did, he giggled and ran away. I’m sure he was confused why I was still in bed at 7 am. I’ve been sick and yesterday I tried to explain to him that mommy wasn’t feeling well. After I told him he tapped on his chest, showing me his teal striped shirt. He must have dressed himself. He was proud. We both clapped and then he pointed…
Read MoreWe can Change the World
The other day I was chatting with a friend and she was telling me about when her son was diagnosed with autism. And she said… ‘I knew I couldn’t change autism, so I decided I had to change the world.’ I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Because, see friends, in the beginning, I didn’t have a lot of support. Or resources. Or knowledge of my son’s mysterious disorder and…I thought my purpose was to change it. I didn’t understand. Now I do. And this amazing mama, she knew what I…
Read MoreFather’s Day
Facebook memories are so lovely some times. Father’s Day. Five years ago… This is how Cooper slept last night. He was so proud of the Father’s Day card he helped make for daddy. He will carry it around until it’s just a shred of paper. I always say Cooper loves object until there is nothing left of them. My heart melted when I checked on him and saw the card laid out. He is all heart that kid. A huge misconception about children with autism is that they don’t make…
Read MoreTwo Brothers
Back in the beginning, when the folder was slid across the table, and the words ‘severe nonverbal autism’ were said out loud… I remember wishing for a crystal ball. I wanted to know what the future held for my boy. His brother. Our family. I begged. I pleaded. I bargained. I prayed. For a glimpse. This is the one I wish I could have seen. Right here. A moment in time. In the peace from the chaos. Two brothers. Two years apart. One verbal. One not. One on track. One…
Read More