Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Please Don’t Stare at My Autistic Son
I’ve been quiet today, no social media posts, spending time observing my son, I took a walk in silence this morning instead of with my AirPods in. Yesterday evening my son Jackson, who was diagnosed at age two with level two autism spectrum disorder, had a really difficult time in the grocery store. He yelled at us in protest, he hit us and the shopping cart, he had behaviors that you wouldn’t expect from an almost nine year old boy that is nearly five feet tall. We’ve learned to remain…
Read MoreThey Said Never, but I Always Believed in You
To my beautiful daughter, I sit here and watch you try to answer questions. I can see how hard you are trying. It makes my heart ache seeing how hard it is for you. A task that should take such minimal effort. At the same time, to hear you answer with such pride and confidence when you are understood and correct, fills my heart up, and I can’t help but smile. I am filling out a questionnaire, an endless one, it seems, all about what you can and can’t do.…
Read MoreTo Our Second Child: A Mother’s Struggle With Infertility
To our Second Child, I want to start by saying your dad and I love you very much. You have always been planned. I say that because people might make jokes about our age or the age difference between you and your brother. You have been planned since the day your brother was born. I pictured having two kids, I envisioned you and your brother playing in the backyard while I watched out the kitchen window. I always thought you would be two or three years younger than Henry. Those…
Read MoreThe Glass Child
Glass child is a term used to define a sibling who has a brother or sister with a disability. These siblings are unique individuals and they often sacrifice time with their parents. This often leads to stress as their parents are often dealing with challenging behaviors, constant therapies and doctor appointments. They strive to be cared for and their emotional needs being met. The list can go on and on. In the end, what they get from their parents at the end of the day is only a fraction of…
Read MoreWeightless
When I share about parenting my autistic son, I often use the word ‘intense.’ Like you are in a crowded room and someone turns the temperature dial up bit by bit. Slowly at first. Then faster. Tick tick boom. Or I’ve even said it’s a game of negotiation. Me talking him off or on the ledge. There are no little things with his autism. Only big. It’s like his mind won’t let his body be calm. Like they are at odds. And it comes out of him. His body can’t…
Read MoreMaking Her Feel Safe and Happy
My daughter, Kya is twelve and on the autism spectrum. Like most parents I wanted my daughter to get an education because that was what I thought was important and let me be very clear, reading and writing and an education are very important, but when you take a step back and live a different kind of life than the average typical person things shift on what is important. Self- care, self awareness and independence is most important for my daughter. My daughter has to know life skills. She has…
Read MoreA Diagnosis For My Boy
Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
Read MoreEight Years Ago an Angel Gave Birth to My Daughter
I have been her mom for around 2,920 days, add a couple extra for the leap years. I have provided comfort and care, lessons again and again, and I have offered absolutely nothing as much as I have given love, acceptance, and gratitude. The honor to be hers is mine, and it’s by no small miracle that she made it to me. Eight years ago today, I was in the delivery room as an angel gave birth to my girl. Within our first moment together, I knew I was everything…
Read MoreWe Have to Follow the Rules
Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules. There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house. My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories. There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad. He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and…
Read MoreLove Him Through It
What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try medication, redirect his obsessions. No one ever told me to simply love him. Love the way his hair smells after a bath. Love the way his chubby fingers grip a pencil. Love how earnestly, carefully he…
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