Posts Tagged ‘special needs mother’
Mama, Take Time To Absorb This New Life
Autism is unconditional love. Autism is hard. Autism is constant struggles. Autism is often full of denials. I received a message from a new mama struggling to accept her son’s diagnosis and trying to find the words to tell her family. I couldn’t give her a magical answer. All I could say was the words will come when you’re ready. Do not rush the emotions. Take time for yourself to absorb the diagnosis. It is life altering. It is shattering. I can honestly say I didn’t accept the Autism diagnosis…
Read MoreLet Me Be A Fly On The Wall
I often catch myself thinking, if only I was a fly on the wall. I’ve uttered those words to your therapists after they share the celebrated moments of your morning. Moments you have worked so hard for. Harder than most. Moments like when you said ’swing’ for the first time. Tried a strawberry. Waved hello to another child. Pointed to the object when asked, “Where is the…?” Hugged a stuffed animal. Moments I thought I would witness first. Moments I thought would happen with me. Precious child of mine, I…
Read MoreI Never Knew Being A Mother Would Be So Hard For You
Hi, my name is Kate and I am 36 and I’m having a serious case of lost identity. Or maybe it’s a midlife crisis. Or a little post-partum depression. Or maybe I’m just tired, overweight and mentally drained. Who knows which one. I have three boys, a husband, a home, and a job I love. I am beyond blessed. I have devoted my life to the humans in my life. And again, most days, I am happy to do it. But some days, some weeks, I don’t feel that way.…
Read MoreHow to Stay Sane
Sometimes I stand before people and I say stuff and then they ask me questions. How do you keep you marriage together with the stress of raising a child with autism? How can I get my son to stop biting/hitting/screaming/chewing/running? How is it you are so stunningly beautiful and well-dressed? Actually, I’ve never been asked that last question. I admit this to you in the spirit of full disclosure. When my son Jack was a little guy, throwing enormous fits and staying up all night and generally wreaking havoc on…
Read MoreMy Child is Bright
Now, lets rewind to the time my son Danny was born. In the back of my mind I always knew there was something not right. I used my mothering instinct and knew something was wrong when Danny screamed and screamed without being soothed with anything possible in this world as a baby. By the time he was three years old, he had no language, no words, or even nonverbal communication was void. After much advocating, Danny was finally diagnosed at age three. ABA therapy was the best therapy at the…
Read MoreThe Graceful and Not So Graceful Lessons I learned in 2019:
Well adjusted, self sufficient, independent women can completely lose themselves to motherhood. Even ones who appear to have it all together. They can also find themselves again. Sleep deprivation presents itself as depression. And marriage problems. And weight gain or weight loss. And a whole lotta other tough words. Sleep deprivation is torture. You must find a way to sleep. Pour your energy into the positive people in your life. Surround yourself with them. Soak up their energy and laughter. Text them. Call them. Invite them into your crazy, weird…
Read MoreI Give You Permission to Whine
Did you know there are some women out their who never whine? Or complain? Or even say it’s hard. I never knew that. I really didn’t. So, when I stumbled across a post on Facebook bashing women for talking, or as they said whining, about the hard parts of life, I was shocked. Apparently, these so called whiners hate their kids and husbands. It was a lot to take in I a tell ya. I realized, they are probably talking about me. I talk, whine, complain, vent all the time.…
Read MoreStop Asking Women When They Are Having Another Baby
I have two amazing sons. My heart feels complete. No, I don’t want to try for a girl. No, I won’t change my mind in a few years. Some questions sit a little differently after you have a child on the spectrum. This one, really raises my blood pressure. I have always wanted 2 children, I thought I would have 1 boy and 1 girl and life would be complete. I had 2 boys, almost SIX years apart. My 2nd has Autism. I knew from the time he was a…
Read MoreA Letter to my Pregnant Self
Looking back at pictures of myself while I was pregnant does not bring back much sentiment. Instead, they make me sad. I look at the woman in those photos, so full of hope, so desperate to be a mother, oblivious to how drastic her life is going to change, and it just breaks my heart. If I could write a letter to her, I don’t know what I would say. Do I sugarcoat things for her to let her enjoy the time of ignorance, of denying, of saying, “he’ll catch…
Read More