I Give You Permission to Whine

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Did you know there are some women out their who never whine? Or complain? Or even say it’s hard.

I never knew that. I really didn’t.

So, when I stumbled across a post on Facebook bashing women for talking, or as they said whining, about the hard parts of life, I was shocked.

Apparently, these so called whiners hate their kids and husbands.

It was a lot to take in I a tell ya.

I realized, they are probably talking about me. I talk, whine, complain, vent all the time.

I thought, hhhmm….well, I don’t want to be like that.

New Years Resolution. 2020 baby.

I’m going to give this a try. I shall not whine. I shall be positive all the time.

I shall only talk about the picture perfect parts of my life.

And then my whole entire family got sick. And my dog pooped on the carpet upstairs. And school was out for two long weeks and my boys never stopped asking me for things and telling me how boring our house was. And my oldest discovered that The Price is Right on YouTube is best watched at full volume…at 4 am.

My baby stopped sleeping. Actually that’s a lie. My baby decided to wake up more often because his sleeping already was terrible. And my middle son decided to survive only on candy. And when did six year olds learn to start talking back. And did I mention the snoring all night long.

But still I tried to keep my mouth shut. Only happy, perfect people over here.

Until I realized I felt sad. And alone. I was missing the helpfulness that comes from simply talking about our struggles.

And the humor that emerges too.

This just wasn’t me.

I whine. I complain. I talk about everything until I’m blue in the face. For real. You can ask my husband.

I like to find other women who are going through the same things and bring them into my weird little world.

I love knowing that I’m not alone. That we all want to sell our kid’s to the zoo sometimes. Or fantasize about a few nights in the hospital being helped by wonderful nurses.

And I especially love the clarity and peace that comes after a good vent session.

I like to recognize when I’m stuck. And brainstorm how to get unstuck.

I like to have a friend, or internet stranger, point out the beauty that I am missing in a situation. Because sometimes I miss it.

I like to make jokes about my husband leaf-blowing too much and wearing sandals in the house and my boys peeing on the floor.

Because it helps me. And I think it helps others too.

But mostly I love to laugh about it all. And show other families that no one is perfect.

So women, I am giving you permission to whine. Or as I like to say communicate.

Talk about the hard. Talk about the sad. Talk about the parts that we aren’t supposed to talk about.

Because I promise you this. By talking about it you are healing.

Sometimes from wounds you didn’t even know you had.

Life can be hard. Find your people and start talking.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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