My Nonspeaking Autistic Boy Finds Connection and Joy

This photo. I know it looks so ordinary. Two kids. Tweens actually. A silly younger brother photobombing. It’s anything but ordinary. It’s extraordinary really. My son is 12 years old. He was diagnosed with nonspeaking autism at age 3. And I’ve wondered from the very beginning if he’d ever have a friend. Her name is Peyton. They met at school. Her diagnosis doesn’t matter to him. Or us. She does all the talking. She holds his hand a lot. He kisses her on the forehead. She tells him what to…

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An Inspiring Encounter: A Letter to the Mother of an Adult Son with Autism

To the mother with her adult son at Thomas the Train: You had the oldest child here. I’m guessing he was 25. Your son was tall. He was a man. He even towered over you. I saw him immediately when you arrived. He was practically levitating he was so excited. It was like he had an aura around him. His joy. It radiated. He ran in. Loud. Arms a moving. He ran right up to Thomas and started chatting to himself. Fingers stimming. Head down. Twisting back and forth like…

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Embracing Every Moment: A Letter to My Son With Autism

My sweet boy, I used to get so upset when people stared at you. Angry. Defensive even. You’d be flapping your hands. Or making happy noises. Communicating nonverbally. The only way you knew how. One second you’d be on the floor and the next running only to drop to the ground, roll, laugh and pat the ground. Or you’d be frustrated by the world. Telling me with sounds, not words, what was wrong. I’d look around. Make eye contact with a stranger or two. And look away. I’d think in…

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It Wasn’t Always This Way: A Journey of Autism and Triumph

Sometimes something small will remind me how far we both have come on this journey. My autistic daughter loves getting a mani/pedi. She comes with me to every appointment. She looks forward to it and she loves going on IG looking at nail colours for her upcoming visit. It wasn’t always this way. In fact, my daughter used to struggle with outings. There were stretches of time we didn’t/couldn’t leave our home. Salons are loud. They are always full of people with music playing tools running and all of that…

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Parenting Autism: Is It Grief, Jealousy, or Envy?

Our family has settled into life with autism. We know that when we go on an outing we need to be prepared for all scenarios. Honestly it has become second nature. It is how we operate. We accept it. Last night I was watching a TV show. It was featuring a family of four who were preparing to move ‘off the grid’ in Alaska. Their oldest child was maybe seven or eight. Their youngest was around two (a year younger than Lexi). As I was watching this family with their…

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Nobody Ever Told Me: Navigating Life with a ‘Forever Child

Nobody ever told me that when I brought children into this world that there was a possibility that I may have a “forever child”. Of course, all three of my children are forever mine. However, one will forever be with me until I can no longer care for her on my own.  Nobody ever told me I would teach my child to talk and that I would hear those words come from her early.  I would see small gestures come from her tiny hands to accompany those words…only to have…

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Sounds of Happiness: Embracing Cooper’s Unique Joy

Cooper, Last night you were upstairs with your brother. It was long past your bedtime…which for Sawyer isn’t strange. That kid would stay up all night long. But not you typically. You have an internal alarm that tells you when it’s 9 pm and it’s game over. Up to bed you go with 7 blankets and a pile of treasures so high it takes you two trips up the stairs. But last night was different from some reason. I heard your sounds first. Laughing. Squeals. Little screams. Hums. Giggles. You…

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A Special Bond: Navigating Friendship and Autism with His Cousin

I don’t know if my son has anyone who considers him their friend, besides his cousin. If you ask Jesse who his best friend is, he says, “Lukas.” It’s not always mutual though. Although, it used to be. My son is autistic and eight years old. He is 18 months older than his cousin. When he was a toddler, he used to adore his little baby cousin, Lukas. They grew up together as toddlers and littles, wrestling and laughing. And Lukas looked up to J as his big cousin. He…

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Autism, Aggression, and the Power of Remembrance

Every night I lay with my son until he falls asleep. I’ve done this since he was a baby. I sneak out of his room and reset our home for the next morning. Tonight while we were laying down he said to me. “You cried in the month of June, on a Thursday, you ran away to the sun room, and I came to tell you sorry.” I said “why did I cry buddy?” He turned his head to face away from me on his pillow and replied “because I…

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Unveiling the Silent Fears: Sending My Nonspeaking Child to School

I don’t think we talk about our fears enough. I know when I do, as a mom to a nonspeaking boy, my fears are often brushed aside. Or downplayed. And I think it’s because fear makes people uncomfortable. Or they want to fix it. But there isn’t always a solution. Acknowledging our fears forces us to go to that uncomfortable space. But the older I get, I am learning to lean in. And share. So here goes… This morning my 12-year-old nonspeaking boy with a big diagnosis got on a…

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