Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Child’
Stand Still
I used to avoid feeling the worries and fears in my life. For a long time actually. I would run from them. And if they found me, I’d shove them way down deep inside. I’d do everything in my power to not feel them. Or to even stand still because that is when the feelings would find me. I made myself constantly busy. I never sat. I rarely slept. My showers were 2 minutes long. I’d blast the radio in the car. There was far too much too do. And…
Read MoreGrief is Love
Having a child with a disability is a million things. It’s unbelievable joy. It’s seeing and experiencing every single milestone. It’s happiness. It’s feeling the gut wrenching pain of watching them suffer. It’s finding your voice of advocacy. It’s seeing firsthand that bullying exists. It’s seeing resilience. It’s being turned inside out. It’s carrying a weight that most cannot see. It’s wanting to fight. And run. And hurt. And protect. And scream. It’s a million things. It’s so much. So much more. And tonight. For me. It was being 11…
Read MoreA Family of Three
We are spending the day as a family of three. Enjoying our children individually, and speaking to their hearts, is something Cooper’s dad and I try to do when we can. With four kids it can be a challenge. But today, it worked perfect. We took Cooper for a boat ride on the Mississippi River. His most favorite place ever. He loves the wind and when the water splashes him and the trains that go by every 20 minutes like clockwork. He is calm here. At peace. He gasps a…
Read MoreListening With More Than Your Ears
Yesterday, for the first time ever, my 11 year old son was able to tell me that his ear hurt. We were in the drive thru for Starbucks, our happy place. He was pointing out the address numbers on the doors of the shops. 100. 200. 300. He adores numbers. As we communicated about the numbers, me talking and him using his fingers and sounds, his little brother filled in the gaps. ‘Cooper is 11. I’m 3. Sawyer is 9. Mom is…how old are you mom? Maybe 100?’ And then…
Read MoreIt’s a Beautiful Life
I have said for many years that my son Cooper has give me the gift of sight. He is always showing me things. He will stop. Pause. Point. Gasp. Cheer. Clap. Even high five. The moon. A cloud. A train. Tractor. Cow. Bird. Christmas lights. A pumpkin. A man with a beard who looks like Santa. A sign for Target. A commercial for Starbucks. It’s amazing really. These little glimpses into his world and the things he loves. He has taught me to pause and to see. It’s a beautiful…
Read MoreHappy Birthday Grandma
Immediately after Cooper got on the bus yesterday morning I sent this email to his teacher. Good morning! Cooper wanted me to tell you it’s his grandmas birthday tomorrow. He’s very excited. He also has crazy socks on!’ I sent it because he is so excited for his grandma’s birthday he can hardly stand it. Add in crazy sock day and yesterday was the best day ever for him. He gasped and danced and smiled so big all morning. He also asked me more times than I can count to…
Read MoreA Beautiful Combination
My son, I like to write you these little notes so that one day, when I’m old and gray, and my memory isn’t so good, I can remember you. Your life. And us. You are 11. You are a tween. An in-between. When you were diagnosed with autism all those years ago, and the future felt confusing, maybe even a little bit scary, I would wonder what you would be like at this age. Because the teenage years can be interesting. And autism, well it muddles the edges. There are…
Read MoreJust Hang On Mama
I stumbled across an old blog post of mine the other day titled, ‘what if my son never speaks to me?’ The words that followed were filled with fear and longing. My son was 5. And my hope had ran out. Why? Well someone, a professional, had told me that if my son didn’t speak by age four, then game over. I was crushed. Devastated. Heartbroken. As I read my fears displayed on my computer screen I had this urge to hug the old me. To tell me to hang…
Read MoreYou’re Carrying too Much
Hey you… Mom, Dad, parent, or caregiver of a child with a disability, I have something to tell you. And it’s not a secret. Not in the slightest. It may not even surprise you. You’re carrying too much weight. I see you. I see all that you are doing. You are worn down. You are stressed out by it, and you’re missing some of the best parts of not only your life but your child’s life because if it. Your life is unique. It’s one that demands more from us…
Read MoreThe Seeds of a Future Advocate
My second born son Sawyer is at the age where he asks a lot of questions. The questions are pure and innocent and often make me smile or giggle. Or cringe. He asks me a lot of questions about other children. He will tell me stories from school and ask me why a child was mean or why they acted a certain way. Or he will loudly ask why the cashier at Target is in a wheelchair or why the man in line next to us has purple hair. Or…
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