Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Child’
Weightless
When I share about parenting my autistic son, I often use the word ‘intense.’ Like you are in a crowded room and someone turns the temperature dial up bit by bit. Slowly at first. Then faster. Tick tick boom. Or I’ve even said it’s a game of negotiation. Me talking him off or on the ledge. There are no little things with his autism. Only big. It’s like his mind won’t let his body be calm. Like they are at odds. And it comes out of him. His body can’t…
Read MoreMaking Her Feel Safe and Happy
My daughter, Kya is twelve and on the autism spectrum. Like most parents I wanted my daughter to get an education because that was what I thought was important and let me be very clear, reading and writing and an education are very important, but when you take a step back and live a different kind of life than the average typical person things shift on what is important. Self- care, self awareness and independence is most important for my daughter. My daughter has to know life skills. She has…
Read MoreA Diagnosis For My Boy
Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
Read MoreEight Years Ago an Angel Gave Birth to My Daughter
I have been her mom for around 2,920 days, add a couple extra for the leap years. I have provided comfort and care, lessons again and again, and I have offered absolutely nothing as much as I have given love, acceptance, and gratitude. The honor to be hers is mine, and it’s by no small miracle that she made it to me. Eight years ago today, I was in the delivery room as an angel gave birth to my girl. Within our first moment together, I knew I was everything…
Read MoreWe Have to Follow the Rules
Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules. There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house. My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories. There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad. He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and…
Read MoreLove Him Through It
What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try medication, redirect his obsessions. No one ever told me to simply love him. Love the way his hair smells after a bath. Love the way his chubby fingers grip a pencil. Love how earnestly, carefully he…
Read MoreDear Autism Momma
Dear Autism Momma, I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I do now. I didn’t understand. I’m sorry that when your child was having a meltdown in the grocery store, instead of offering to help or extending compassion, I walked away judging how in the world you could let your child act that way. I’m sorry that when your child sat in the grocery cart long after expected, I didn’t extend grace. All I could think about were the “rules” and how no one ever followed them like my children…
Read More5 Things to Offer a Special Needs Mom Who’s Struggling
You see the posts, you hear the stories, but you don’t always know how to help….. You don’t have a child with special needs, but your friend or a family member does. You want to do something, but are unsure of where to start. Here are five ideas that have been life-changing for me. Remind her that she’s doing a great job. When she’s in the toughest times she’s doubting herself, she’s wondering if it’s her fault, if she will ever make it through. Reach out, remind her how amazing…
Read MorePermission to Grieve
What I want the world to know about being a mom of a child with autism is that it is coupled with grief. I love my daughter. With every ounce of my being. She brings me joy and hope every single day. She teaches me patience, perspective, and that there is more than one way to do EVERYTHING. But I was not unprepared for the grief. When you hear that you are going to have a baby your brain starts dreaming of the life that will soon be. So many…
Read More24 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Son’s Autism Diagnosis
Our son was diagnosed with autism at age 6. Although it has only been 3 years since diagnosis, there are many things I wished I knew then that I know now. I remember we felt like we were navigating the journey blind. We felt so alone and isolated, and it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to navigate the world of autism. So here are 24 things I wished I knew in hopes that it helps someone who is newly diagnosed: 1. Contact…
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