Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Child’
Remember, Your Sister Talks to Angels
Recently my daughter Sage who holds her feelings in like they never existed, who would rather use her fists to deal with hurt, broke. Her sky blue eyes welled up and her upper lip quivered as a stream of salty tears spilled down her cheeks. My dearest Sage, You have a job more important than other kids your age. Not only do you have to protect your littlest sister from dangerous situations, you must also protect her from hate and evil. Sage, there will always be mean people who spew hate. Yes…
Read MoreMagic Forever
Last night we brought our three boys to a green house to pick out pumpkins. Our middle son was very excited. He loves all things holidays. He also loves overdoing things, much like his mama. 17 pumpkins seems totally reasonable to us. And the baby, he was in heaven toddling along with his brothers. Our older son Cooper, well, he was along for the ride. Pumpkins aren’t really his jam. That is until he realized that the green house had Christmas trees. So many Christmas trees. He immediately gasped and…
Read MoreThe Hard Fought Miracle
There I was, alone in the hospital, being monitored at 33 weeks pregnant with my unborn son. Nevermind that my family was states away and Shane, my husband, was hours away just finishing his overnight shift. My phone rang as the doctor entered my room. Shane stayed on the phone listening as the doctor explained our current situation. At the highest dosage my high blood pressure still wasn’t regulated and my migraine seemed to be going nowhere either. It was time to induce. Still alone in my hospital room, Shane…
Read MoreLove Needs No Words
Here is my blue-eyed, blonde hair, sweet boy looking at me. He shows his love through his eyes. He may be unable to tell me he loves me verbally, but he shows me in his unique way. Thinking back three years ago, life was a lot different. It was the start of our autism journey. It was the start that our life would change forever. He was not making any form of eye contact. He would not interact with peers. He would always want to be left alone. It was…
Read MoreI Didn’t Have the Capacity For a Confrontation
Right after we moved into our current home, I registered to attend several open houses for homeschool co-ops and tutorials in this area. I will never, for as long as I live, forget one specific open house. As one of the teachers shared her plans for the fall semester, she referenced the potential number of students in her classroom based on the current number of interested families. “We have seven students…” she began. That number didn’t include Milo. I’d attended the open house with a friend who also had a son with special needs. That number didn’t include her child, either. Another teacher…
Read MoreA New Diagnosis
The doctor said it. She said what I knew in my heart was true. I had been waiting over a year for this appointment and she confirmed what I have suspected since Joelle was eighteen months old. But how can something you saw coming still hurt so much? I knew when my second daughter wasn’t meeting her developmental milestones. As a nurse, I saw the red flags. At her eighteen month well visit, I brought up my concerns. When her pediatrician wanted to take a wait and see approach, I…
Read MoreMy Miracle Boy
On May 24th 2020 my entire world changed in a matter of moments. Since my son’s Autism diagnosis in February, I still had not said the words aloud, “my son has autism.” I would use phrases such as “he receives special services” or “he has special needs.” I had not gathered up enough strength to use the word Autism and Charlie with the same breath. I guess in my magical world the diagnosis wasn’t real until I said it was. I am honestly not sure how long I would have avoided…
Read MoreThe Dark Side
As a mother of a child with special needs, there are some things you just don’t say out loud. Because these things… these thoughts that occasionally loop on repeat over and over again in your head, well, they’re dark. They’re depressing. Sometimes, they’re downright scary. But these forbidden thoughts, these heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thoughts that you’re often made to feel bad for having, they’re part of your reality. Part of your life. Part of the life that you didn’t choose. And if you dare speak of these dark, depressing, scary…
Read MoreOne Size Fits All
The other day I was scrolling my newsfeed and I came across a picture—a list, really—titled Reality Check. I scanned the points and as usual, my brain went right to autism. I can’t help it. Ever since my son was diagnosed fifteen years ago, I see much of the world through a spectrum lens. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. When I was a New Autism Mama, I thought I could just make Jack do the things he…
Read More‘Very Nice Boy You Have Here’
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ See, as a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the…
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