‘Very Nice Boy You Have Here’

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Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school.

I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great.

When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’

See, as a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the negative. Waiting for the bad that happened.

But instead, I was met with two smiling faces. Both were men. Both older. Both happy. ‘He did wonderful!’ the driver said. And the para, he said something that brought a lump to my throat.

With a huge smile and kind voice, ‘very nice boy you have here.’ Tears sprang to my eyes. And then Cooper came from around the seat and launched into my arms. See, he is a very nice boy. He is smart, and funny, and kind, and loving, and wonderful. I know that. His dad and family knows that. But so often, many of the people in his world don’t know that. They see challenging. They see behaviors.

See as parents, we often have to describe our kid’s challenges. We have to talk about, and list, and discuss, all the parts that are difficult. We do this for services, for schools, for benefits. And while it’s necessary, it’s sad too. Because all I want is for the world to see his amazing parts.

I don’t get a lot of compliments about my kid. So, I make up the difference. He knows how amazing he is because I shout it from the rooftops. I celebrate him daily.

But wow, it was amazing to hear another person say something so simple, so sweet. That man probably has no idea what a huge thing that was for me.

‘Very nice boy you have here.’ ‘

He is a very nice boy. The best really. Thank you sir.’

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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