Three “Simple” Words

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I love you.

Three simple words.

Most of us throw them around loosely.

Take them for granted.

We say them when we hang up the phone.

When a loved one leaves the house.

When we kiss our little ones good night.

Sometimes out of habit.

It’s something a mother hears a million times.. over a lifetime.

That is unless your child is…

NONVERBAL.

Then you might never hear it.

One of those things that most don’t even think about.

I have told my daughter “I Love You” everyday, multiple times a day, for her entire life.

She began to respond and say, “you too” and then make the kiss sound which I will do back and she will do again… and I will do back..you get the picture.

And that’s okay, I’ll take it. It’s her way and she didn’t start doing that until she was in her upper teens.

It’s still special to us.

This past summer, she said I love you unprompted on her own for the first time, ever!

She has only said it two other times since then. It is wonderful every time It’s quick and not 100 percent clear, so you have to listen and pay attention closely.

There are some that question if people with autism display emotions. I have no doubt my daughter loves, I know she does and I don’t need the words.. but they are nice to hear .

I think for her to say it she has to truly feel it and be happy and content. The same think with unprompted hugs and kisses. She does them but they are rare and far in few between.

Yesterday on her way into school she was standing by the car and I was getting her stuff and she said simply, “I love you.”

It’s so shocking still. It makes me feel so happy and of course I say you do !?! Thank you!

We make a big deal out of it.

The thing with autism and having someone nonverbal in your life is you learn to appreciate the little things, in fact the little things are not so little to us.

You have to open your heart and listen. When you think you hear something you do.

You have to believe.

Believe in your child.

Believe in your love.

And believe in what the future may bring.

Written by, Kimberly McIasaac

Hi my name is Kim. I am married with four children one who is a young adult with non verbal autism. We live in Massachusetts and I work full time as a director of a daycare. I have a Facebook page, Autism Adventures with Alyssa, that follows the progress my daughter has made, while making transitions into the scary world of an adult with a disability. She has made incredible progress….beginning with words coming at the age of twenty-one. I want to spread awareness of severe autism while giving others hope as we ride this crazy autism roller coaster with all the joy and heartache that comes along with it .

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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