Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
When a Nonverbal Child is Sick
Have you ever wished that your child would complain? We have. We do. This sweet boy is so sick. Sicker than we originally thought. But we didn’t know. Because everyone else in our family is sick too. And everyone else has the ability to complain. ‘Mom I don’t feel good.’ ‘My head hurts.’ ‘I feel hot.’ The remedies are pretty standard. Cough drops and popsicles for sore throats. A seat by the fireplace to combat the chills. Soup and ginger ale for a sore tummy. A bed on the couch…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
The other day I was talking about the future with another mama. We were new acquaintances, brought together by one common thread. Autism. Our sons were the same age. 9. Both similar. Ridiculously handsome, silly, very few words but still quite opinionated, and both very much in love with their mamas. We were talking about the beginning. Making jokes about the hard parts. Tearing up over the almost unbelievably hard parts. Then the middle part that we are in right now. The part where the pieces finally began to fall…
Read MoreBut Why Doesn’t He Talk Mama?
Our family has been spending a lot our time lately with families who have kiddos like our Cooper. Some came into our lives through Cooper’s therapy center. Some came through mom support groups on Facebook. Some from the many trips to Children’s Hospital over the years. Family friendships have developed and it’s been life changing for us. Many of the kids have autism, although no two fall in the same place on the spectrum. That’s the cool part. They are all uniquely different. Others have different disabilities. Some physical, some…
Read MoreMaybe Someday
‘Dear 1st and 3rd grade families, We will have our winter programs on Friday, December 13th. The first grade will perform at 9 am and the third grade will perform at 10 am.’ When I read that email I felt the familiar twinge in my stomach. Ugh. What are the odds that those two grades perform on the same day? Why? I do everything I can to avoid third grade boys. See, I have a first and a would-be third grader. Except my third grader doesn’t attend school with his…
Read MoreHappiness is what Matters
As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone once told me to turn off the cartoons and put on the National Geographic channel. I still laugh about that. They thought parents like me should be forcing interests. My son is 9. He’s amazing. And he loves Peppa, Barney,…
Read MoreOur Kids Matter
My son has never won an award. He has never sung in a choir concert or scored the winning goal. In fact, he doesn’t even know what any of those things are. You won’t find any of his accomplishments in a yearbook. Or on Facebook either. And that makes me sad for him. Because he matters. He matters a lot. I’ll admit to you that for a lot of years I didn’t celebrate. Yup, that’s the truth. We had more hard than good. We mostly just survived. And I focused…
Read MoreThe Hardest Question Will Always Be Why
The hardest question you will ever ask is why. You will fixate on it. You will manically go over it all in your head. Everything you did or didn’t do during the months that turned into the years that got you to this point. You will justify and find reasoning that soothes your heart. But you will always come back to one simple question. Why? You can be firmly planted, comfortably and happily, in acceptance and still find yourself haunted by the why. Why my child? Why my family? Why?…
Read MoreLook for the Magic
So often the most impactful parts of life don’t make sense. I’ve learned that over and over again. Sometimes gracefully. Sometimes not. But see I have this teacher. This little human. He’s taught me more than I can even put into words. He likes colors and squares and rectangles and lines. He likes trains and Peppa and pictures of his brothers and penguins and letters. And the number 35. It used to be 33. And The Price is Right. And he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it. Because those…
Read MoreGetting Help as a Special Needs Parent
I’ve been having some minor medical stuff going on. Nothing huge but still annoying. I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Which never happens. Simply put, I don’t have time. I explained my symptoms. A cold that never ends. A cough that keeps me up. Extreme fatigue. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Trouble sleeping. She asked if I was under stress. I laughed. Manically actually. I told her about my life. My job. About my 3 boys. Their ages. Their schedules and needs. I told her about my Cooper. About autism.…
Read MoreHe’s Safe Mama
I was rushing to get out of the house. Helping Cooper with his shoes and wrestling the baby into his jacket. Filling up a bottle and grabbing snacks and drinks. Making sure the diaper bag was stocked and that I looked halfway presentable. You know, doing all of the things. Cooper was nonverbally letting me know that he was going to bring all hundred of his treasures. Sawyer was asking me for a bag because he wanted to bring his rollerblades to a place that didn’t allow rollerblades. The baby…
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