But Why Doesn’t He Talk Mama?

Our family has been spending a lot our time lately with families who have kiddos like our Cooper.

Some came into our lives through Cooper’s therapy center.

Some came through mom support groups on Facebook.

Some from the many trips to Children’s Hospital over the years.

Family friendships have developed and it’s been life changing for us.

Many of the kids have autism, although no two fall in the same place on the spectrum.

That’s the cool part.

They are all uniquely different.

Others have different disabilities. Some physical, some not. Some have visual impairments.

All have the best smiles you will ever see in this world.

It’s pretty amazing really.

When our son was first diagnosed we did not know one family with an autistic child.

That was hard. That was lonely.

As our son aged it became obvious that it was harder to fit into the typical world. Of course we tried. We always will.

Our friends and family live there and having a foot in that world is very important.

But there is an unbelievable comfort in finding families like your own.

People who understand. Who get it.

A week or so ago we had Cooper’s 9th birthday party.

The attendees were all of the colors of the rainbow.

The party was filled with noise, laughter, hugs, squeals of joy and speech devices.

It was the best party I have ever been too.

It was casual with no pressure.

Later than night as I was tucking my 6-year-old into bed he asked me quite a few questions about the party and other events we have attended lately.

He asked why our friend’s son had braces on his legs. He asked why one of our dear friend’s daughter used a wheelchair to move around.

He then asked if all of the kid’s at his brother’s party had autism like him.

And I said yes, almost every guest did.

He was quiet for a moment. I could see him thinking.

‘But mama, so many of them talk. I don’t understand. Why doesn’t my brother talk? But why mama?’

These questions are coming more and more.

Sawyer is curious. As he should be. He wants to understand. He wants to advocate even.

But he also wants to have a conversation with his brother. He wants to play and ride the bus together.

And he wants to understand. He wants concrete answers that will help him process. But, there are none. Not really.

But I will tell you this, we encourage him to ask questions as often as he wants.

We went onto to talk about his brother. How the words are starting to come. How we don’t know what the future holds. How we will always have hope but if it doesn’t happen we will figure out other ways to communicate.

I told him how he is the best little brother on this earth.

After a few moments he told me that he knew how to get his brother to speak. He said he googled it.

I giggled.

(Note: He did not. He does not know how to Google.)

I smiled. And hugged him.

He pulled away all serious like. He had no time for hugs at a moment like that one.

‘Mama! For real. I figured it out. We just need a rock from a volcano. Order it mama. On Amazon.’

I told him that I didn’t think Amazon had Volcanic rock but we could check in the morning.

Kids, I tell ya. They make you smile.

I will never know what it feels like to have a sibling with special needs. That isn’t my story.

But this kid, I think as he gets older he is going to help so many siblings like himself learn that asking questions is okay. And so is wanting to help.

He makes me proud already.

He is growing up in a world I knew nothing about. And when he’s ready, he will share it as well.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.