Posts Tagged ‘Brothers’
They Call him a Monster
When you share your world like I do, you see, read, and hear things that are unbelievable. Things that make me physically ill. Evil finds us. Hate finds us. Which is hard to believe. I just share my kids. Our life. Our funny, beautiful life. And yet they call him a monster. They say he’s a waste. That he’s dangerous. That he’s much worse. Just because he has autism. A diagnosis. A label. A word. An explanation. Not an excuse. Something he was born with. He thinks a little differently.…
Read MoreSleep in my Room Brother
A month or so before Harbor was born, Cooper and Sawyer both slept in our room. We had just moved to a new house a few months before. Both boys could sense the baby was coming. And they seemed to be trying to soak up as much mama snuggle time as they could. Of course I would like to say they both started out the night in their own rooms and beds. At least that was the intention every day as Jamie and I chugged coffee after a crowded night…
Read MoreI’m Not Lonely Anymore Mama
The decision to have a third baby was huge for us…as it is for any family. A third baby is a lot. Plus, our boys were 7 and 5. Did we really want to start over? Midnight feedings, lugging a car seat around, and nursing. Our living room wasn’t filled with baby gear. We had no bottles or diaper bags. And, to address the elephant in the room…one of our boys has autism. He needs so much more all the time. More patience. More therapy. More one-on-one time. More everything.…
Read MoreSeeing their Future
These two. Brothers. Cooper was barely two when Sawyer was born. I had so many ideas of what their relationship would be like. So close in age. I thought they’d be best friends. I thought they’d play nonstop. Like so many parts of life…what I imagined didn’t happen. Their relationship has always been unique. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of confusion for Sawyer. Cooper is mostly oblivious to him. They rarely interact. They seem to lead separate lives but do acknowledge that the other one seems to live here…
Read MoreIt Took a Baby…
For the last three years, Sawyer and I watch a movie on Friday nights. We eat popcorn with way too much ranch seasoning, snuggle up with blankets, argue over what movie to watch, and talk about his day, farts, Nerf guns and hockey. It’s my favorite part of the week. And for the last three years, Cooper has ALWAYS been encouraged to join us. He rarely ever does though. He likes to wander around, move from room to room, watch his shows, line up his treasures and stim. That is…
Read MoreA Letter to my Little Brother
Hey Sawyer, I’m hoping that someday I can say this all to you. But there is a chance that I might never be able too… I’m hoping that when you are older you will read this and understand. I know you think I have nothing to say. I do. I know I confuse you. I’m so loud. I flap my arms. I don’t notice toys. Or play sports. Or like to leave our house. I don’t have any friends. Or really pay any attention to you either. I just like…
Read MoreWhen My Brother Starts Talking
Yesterday afternoon Sawyer and I took a trip to Starbucks. I needed a coffee and some alone time with my little man. When we are in the car together he talks nonstop. It’s the kind of chatter that I love. He tells me about school, dinosaurs, and the newest Nerf Gun. He tells me about his friends. And what he wants for Christmas. And that we need to hurry up and write his letter to Santa. I soak it all up. Every single word. On our way home he started…
Read MoreOur Family Photos 2018
Because every picture tells a story… A few weeks ago we had our family photos taken. Harbor was brand new. I was exhausted and emotional. Nursing was hard. Recovering from having a baby was hard. And introducing a new little one into our already chaotic world was hard. I knew Cooper wouldn’t touch his new brother or most likely sit with us for a photo but…I hoped anyways. I wanted pictures of my family. So, we tried. And here is what we got. I’m in love. As I look at…
Read MoreWhen Things Are Not As Expected
I’m in bed feeding my beautiful boy his bottle of milk. He’s cradled in my arms and I’m enjoying the cuddle, the quiet, the stillness. Then his brother walks in, leans over and kisses his brother on the forehead. I’ve waited for a moment like this for a lifetime, literally. My heart could burst. Their first kiss! Then I’m bought back down to earth with such an overwhelming pang of sadness. I can’t help but feel it. It’s a bittersweet moment because I’m feeding and cradling in my arms my…
Read MoreAutism and Showing Affection
Super Cooper just kissed his baby brother. He smiled at me, walked up to him, touched his head and then kissed him. I almost fell out of my chair. I took this video a second later when I asked him to do it again. Showing affection to anyone besides me has never came easy for Cooper. It’s not natural for him. He doesn’t willingly give hugs or kisses. Or ask for snuggles. So this pretty much made my whole entire year. He never ceases to amaze me. I’ve never seen…
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