Posts Tagged ‘autism mom’
But I Want for Something
Jamie and I had one of those weekends as parents. You know, one that just depletes you. Where you wave the white flag, but quickly realize no one seems to care and that you are the adults and you just need to survive. We have a sick baby. A really, really sick baby who isn’t sleeping. Sawyer had three hockey games. That I had to miss. Which made me feel terrible. Cooper’s anti-anxiety medication seems to be leveling out again. Just like everything else we have tried over the years,…
Read MoreA Letter to the Sisters of my Special Needs Sons
My darling girls, Please forgive me. Valentine’s Day came and went without a special something from me. Yes, I sent you a text with my favorite bitmojis (you know my obsession with them), but that was not my plan when the month started and it is far less than either of you deserve. As a society, we devote each month to some type of awareness. In April I put my game face on and try to cheerlead autism but usually by the second week that enthusiasm has fizzled and the…
Read MoreSometimes it Really Hits Me
Autism has been a part of my life for 20 years. I have 2 sons with Autism. I feel like I know it well. I’m comfortable now. I’m in a groove. There were hard, hard days for many years. Sleepless nights (literally); stress, grief, and confusion as to how to navigate this new life. I remember one day in particular during Spring Break….my kids were home from school, and I was literally loosing my mind. My son was in rare form. I couldn’t leave him alone for 2 seconds. After…
Read MoreNaked and Unafraid
Let’s be honest, more than likely you never saw yourself where you are at this moment in time – you had a different picture. There are moments in our lives that change us – they can change our path in life or maybe just change a feeling we have. Being a military family means moving, which means making new friends. We have been blessed with wonderful, and VERY understanding people in our lives at every location we have lived. My seven-year-old, Bodi, is a very social boy who always has…
Read MoreWhy Autism is Not My Excuse
“ Oh but that’s OK for him. He has autism.” I had to blink a few times because I wasn’t quite sure if I heard her correctly. This kind and gentle grandmother standing next to me was actually blaming my sons poor behavior on his autism. What is this OK? Is this really how people viewed children with autism? That every single thing they do- say- think- act- is BECAUSE of their diagnosis? We were both standing at the doorway watching through the Window dance class. It’s a class filled…
Read MoreWill the Grieving Ever End?
Dear God, it’s me again. I’m tired today. I can hardly take a breath. I’m so tired of fighting for every single thing my son needs. My head is spinning and I still have so much to do. I’ve been fighting back tears lately and tonight Cody took me by the hand and led me to his room. He took his yearbook down from a shelf and motioned me to sit down with him. As I sat with him on the edge of his bed I waited as he opened…
Read MoreToday Was The Day
I’m going to preface this post by saying that I fully expected the outcome of today, it has been something that I have felt and known for a long time, however, that doesn’t mean that it was easy to manage emotionally. Today was the day that my sweet little girl received her autism diagnosis. We had her developmental pediatrician appointment this morning, an appointment that had been booked for months. We got our morning started without any hassle and made it to the hospital with time to spare. It was…
Read MoreTo the Parts of You I Haven’t Met Yet
You were a gift from the moment the little blue + sign appeared to my young 20-year-old self. You were a literal dream come true. I dreamed of the person you’d be, the memories I’d make with you, what your hobbies would be, your little personality, the sweet voice you would have, and every single little part of being your Mommy. I never imagined it being difficult, because my love for you was already so strong. I was excited to endure everything that I would have to for you and…
Read MoreLiving in the Present as an Autism Mom
“Is he going to be like this forever?” My seven-year-old niece was quiet and hesitant with her inquiry. Her mom and dad have talked to her about my son’s autism and I was thrilled when they told me that she had some questions for me. I love spreading autism awareness. I especially love talking about my sweet boy and all of the unique, wonderful and challenging pieces that come together to make him so very special. I could barely contain my excitement that someone so young was taking an interest…
Read MoreIt Will Be Okay
Today I watched my almost three year old run into the street in front of a car. It wasn’t how I planned. It wasn’t what I THOUGHT was going to happen. But it happened. I will literally never forget that moment, for as long as I live. Deep into a meltdown, he ran. I’m grateful to the driver who was (luckily) paying attention and spared my sons life. Backtrack- Dylan was diagnosed at 2 years and 3 months, which was 10 months ago. He’ll be 3 in February. We knew…
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