Posts Tagged ‘autism mom’
Trust the Process
I’ve never claimed to be an expert in child development. Or autism. Or anything related to it actually. But I do know my son. I know his quirks. His triggers. His joys and his fears. I know just where to tickle him to get the best laugh. And that if he sees exposed flesh, on a stranger or not, he will blow a raspberry on it. I know that he likes to sleep with five blankets, photos, mail, books and magazines. And that he won’t go to bed without his…
Read MoreI didn’t see it then, but I do now…
I’ve been feeling a lot lately like I need to get my words out, get my feelings out. It tends to happen when my husband is away at work, which is something that doesn’t happen often these days. We have gotten very used to him being here similar to how “normal” families operate. But when he is not here, I find that my weeks are filled with kids, work, and minimal adult conversations. And let’s face it, sometimes he does not want to listen to me babble! There is something…
Read MoreI am the Lucky One
I get to see and hear the world through his eyes. We dance to our reflections in windows. We twirl to music. We lay on the ground just to feel the carpet on our cheeks. We laugh at a sneeze or a hiccup. Over and over again. We make funny noises. We run. We roll. We don’t care what anyone thinks. We laugh. Only his laugh is way better than mine. It’s the best noise I have ever heard. Deep from the belly. We eat cupcakes. But only the frosting.…
Read MoreListen with your Heart
Hearts have always been my son’s favorite shape. Because of his autism and limited verbal skills, in all of his five years on earth he hasn’t told me this, I just know. He is drawn to them. He likes to build them by putting other shapes together and points them out whenever he comes across one. This makes perfect sense, with him being the sweetest little guy I know. Sweet, and a little spicy, too. He is often in his own world, one that we are constantly working to understand,…
Read MoreAs Long As He’s Healthy
While at a recent doctor appointment I was chatting with a young, pregnant woman. I congratulated her and asked her if she knew the sex of the baby. She said she didn’t know and didn’t have a preference, “as long as the baby is healthy.” I smiled and nodded but inside I thought about how this phrase has a new meaning to me since my daughter’s autism diagnosis seven years ago. When someone uses that phrase, I feel sadness in my heart. I think to myself, will she accept and…
Read MoreCan Children with Severe Autism be Happy?
When a child is diagnosed with autism, it can feel like the whole world is collapsing. I should know — I felt that way in 1999 when my son, Lucas, was diagnosed with moderate-to-severe autism just before his third birthday. My younger son, Spencer, was 18 months old and all the dreams I had of them growing up and being best friends disappeared. It makes me sad to think of how devastated and disappointed I felt in those early days, and I wish I could go back and give myself…
Read MoreFellow Mom, I will Pray for your Peace
I’ve prayed for peace a lot. When you have anxiety, you learn how to manage it and be more calm. Prayer is my favorite and most regularly used tool. If you’re a mom of a child with autism, I will pray for your peace too. When I pray, I usually spend a lot of time in gratitude. It’s hard to worry about anything when you are being thankful for the present. If you’re in conflict with anything or anyone, you can’t be at peace. Anger is not a peaceful place…
Read MoreWhat Autism Gave Us
Autism is the most perplexing thing ever. The saying “when you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” couldn’t be any more true. The way it manifests in every child differently. The way it can break your heart by watching your child struggle with what would be the simplest of tasks to a typical child. They way it isolates you from the rest of world. It can make you feel so alone. The regressions it causes. It can make you feel hopeless. Autism can be a…
Read MoreIt’s not Failure to Need a Break
Are you a parent? Have your children ever been out to play themselves, played alone in their room, had a sleepover, went out with a relative? For me none of these things are possible. My son is severely autistic. He is ten years old but still fully incontinent and has no spoken language. He is developmentally around the age of 12 months and he needs round the clock care. He doesn’t have friends to play with either in his own home or elsewhere. There’s no sleepovers in his world, or…
Read MoreHow Can I Help During a Meltdown?
One of the most helpless times for me as a mom is when my son is having a meltdown publicly. My attention and focus turn 100% to him. I drop what I am doing. Quite literally. If I am holding a purse or a coffee I drop it. My son is a runner so I know that I need to chase him. Until he falls to the ground. And then I have to try and keep his head safe, and get him outside. I try to do this with minimal…
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