Posts Tagged ‘Autism diagnosis’
Christmas Through My Autistic Son’s Eyes
Christmas is so much. It’s busy, it’s loud, it’s joyful, it’s frustrating, it’s just, a lot. I love it though. I love it for religious reasons, I love being with family, I love yummy treats, and I love presents. I get so caught up in it. I have so many deep seeded memories when it comes to Christmas that I want to recreate them for my kids. I want them to have it all and sometimes I forget to slow down. My son, Jesse is on the autism spectrum and…
Read MoreWhen There Is No Silent Night
“Silent night, Holy night. All is calm, all is bright…” the familiar, beloved carol that ironically swims around the depths of my mind circa 3am during the holiday season. It is ironic because not all is silent, calm, or bright. Did you know up to 80% of autistic individuals struggle with sleep? For Olivia, it is a lack of sleep that causes the struggle. Since she was 4 months old, Olivia has fled challenges learning to fall and stay asleep. I really do understand the concept that we are all…
Read MoreYou Have Not Failed
I had the honor of meeting with a doctor a while back. A very important doctor. I was telling him all about my Cooper. What we’ve been through. I started at the beginning. He didn’t sleep. Not ever. Everyone told me it would get better. They said I was exaggerating. Only I knew I wasn’t. I told him it took Cooper six years to sleep through the night. And even today, it’s still a struggle. I told him about the burst ear drums. One after another. How no doctor would…
Read MoreA Letter to Our Autistic Son
Many times when someone thinks about autism they think of it negatively. But I want to talk about autism in a positive light. I want to talk about what our son’s autism has taught us. Dear Sully, We wanted to write this letter to you, my beautiful boy, letting you know just how much you have changed our lives and the things you have taught us. You have made us more compassionate towards others. You have shown us the ability to not judge others because you never know what struggles…
Read MoreCommunication Does Not Have to Be Verbal
My son Cooper is nonspeaking. I know that’s a confusing classification. I even sometimes struggle to explain it. See when it comes to autism, and the spectrum you hear about, the waters are often muddy. He said his first word at age 8. It was mom. Now he says it no less than 50 times a day. But he couldn’t tell you his name under pressure or if he is in pain. He can’t use the phone but he can type the name of his favorite movie into YouTube. He…
Read MoreHelp Her Understand What Kind of Day She Had
I just want things to be right for her— I don’t care if she has hard days or sad days because that is part of life it’s part of being human and growing. But I want her to be able to tell me— I want her to be able to know for herself, what kind of day she had. I want her to know what she is feeling— Imagine not only carrying the weight of your feelings but not being able to understand them— not knowing why you are scared…
Read MoreHe Had Never Once Asked for Something
My son Cooper was 7 years old when he first asked me to buy him something. Imagine that. 7 years it took. Prior to that he had never once asked me for a toy or movie or game. We were standing in line at Target and he saw the movie Cars on the shelf. He pointed. He gasped. He jumped. He may have been nonverbal but there was no doubt what he was asking. We watched Cars for weeks straight. He even slept with the dvd. His twelfth birthday is…
Read MoreBeing The Mother, I Never Imagined I Would Be
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mother. I started writing names down that I wanted to name my kids. I began thinking about what sports they would play. Planning playdates and birthday parties. I had my whole motherhood planned out by a young age. I never dreamt of having a child who possibly would have special needs or be considered medically complex. Being the mother, I never imagined I would be. My dreams for my children have changed from when I was a young…
Read MoreIt’s Okay Sit In The Grief
I was chatting with someone from my previous life the other day and it got me thinking how much I have changed. We chatted about life, work, relationships, and kids. I say previous life because I am simply not the person I was before autism. As I settled into this new life it chipped away at me piece by piece and I fundamentally changed as a person. In fact, it changed my entire outlook on life. The things that mattered just didn’t anymore. I quickly learned what was important and…
Read MoreMy Son Got Spelling Words Yesterday
My son got spelling words yesterday. They came home in his backpack. He is a sixth grader in a self-contained level three autism program at our local middle school and this is the first time he has had educational homework type work sent home. When I saw the words, the list, tears immediately sprang to my eyes. Which surprised me. See, I am not much of a crier. I’m not the only anyone would call emotional. But, those words, on a piece of paper in his folder, they symbolized something…
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