Posts Tagged ‘Acceptance’
Falling in Love with Reality
To the boy that grew only in my heart, I still think about you sometimes. Not as often as I did in the beginning. But sometimes when things get lonely and dark you wander into my mind. You stand there smiling at me. Sometimes you talk to me and tell me all the things you love. Sometimes you show me your favorite toys. Sometimes you teach your little brother things and I watch him look up to you in awe as you take care of him. Sometimes you play with…
Read MoreIf I Let Myself Wonder Why
Sometimes I wonder why. I would be lying to you if I said I never wondered why. Why our family? Why me? Why my son? Why him? We are nothing special. We aren’t any stronger than anyone else. We aren’t super parents. I don’t know if God chose us. Or if special kids are given to special people. Or if we have Cooper because we are strong enough to handle the challenges that come with him. I don’t feel like that stuff is true. Not really. I think that’s just…
Read MoreAutism Defeated Me Today
Autism you won. It was one of those days. A day you felt like a dump truck has repeatedly hit you over and over again. Tears that continue to flow. Nothing is stopping them. I am hurting. I am hurting because I can’t figure out what is making my son so frustrated. I can’t figure out what is causing his meltdowns. Autism is hard. There is no sugar coating it. It hit me extremely hard today. I just became so overwhelmed with emotions today. The feeling of my anxiety taking…
Read More3 Autism Assumptions
So, it’s Autism Awareness month and if you are like me you kinda giggle when you get to the “awareness” part. Pretty sure most people are aware that autism exists but depending on what generation they fall in, autism exists in their mental image catalog as scenes from “Rainman” or the “Good Doctor” or “Atypical” all of which represent my daughter Isla, well, ZERO. Not even close. Here is just a quick look at some of the more common assumptions floating around and I’ll let Isla help me squash those…
Read MoreMy Journey To Acceptance After Diagnosis
The walk to the car with my husband after Liam’s autism diagnosis was filled with words we both finally spoke. “At least now we know.” and “We will get him the best services possible”. The car ride conversation was about how the label doesn’t change him. He is still our same little boy. When we pulled in the driveway I started to feel a knot in my stomach. I opened my front door to walk into my home and I just stood in the kitchen. I turned to my husband…
Read MoreThe Greatest Teacher
It was a beautiful, sunny April day last year when Autism first became a part of our lives. It was in the last few days of Autism Awareness Month that we were presented with my son Jack’s suspected diagnosis of Autism and we would begin our journey on the spectrum. His diagnosis would be confirmed a month later at an appointment with our developmental pediatrician- a last minute appointment we were lucky to get almost seven months early due to a cancellation and our ability to be there with short…
Read MoreIt’s Different Than What I Pictured
When I pictured my son at age 8, I thought it would be full of sports. Throwing baseballs. Riding bikes. I thought we’d be building with Legos. And playing PIG at the neighborhood basketball court. I pictured play dates. And never ending birthday parties. I thought we’d be arguing over math homework. And trying to get you to wash your face. And of course conversations about Minecraft. I thought you’d be so popular. And that your life would be so busy I’d be praying for time to slow down. I…
Read More4 Simple Words I Wish People Would Say Instead of “I’m Sorry”
With April being World Autism Month, I wanted to share something that’s been on my heart lately in hopes to help “Light It Up Blue.” I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the words “I’m sorry,” since Jack was diagnosed with autism last year. I’ve honestly lost count. First, I want to say that this is not to knock anyone or make them feel badly about how they react when they learn about a child who has special needs. You see, prior to having my own child…
Read MoreChildhood is Not One Size Fits All
“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you’d have. It’s about understanding he’s exactly the person he is supposed to be. And if you’re lucky, he might be the teacher who turns you into the person you’re supposed to be.” -Joan Ryan I always knew I wanted children from a very young age. And for some reason, I always hoped I’d have a little boy. Well the universe heard my wishes and a little over four years ago we met our beautiful…
Read MoreConversations that Change Us
It was a few years ago. Five years to be exact. Cooper had just been diagnosed. We now had a reason for the behaviors. A reason why he had no words. Why he couldn’t sit still. Why he screamed. Why he refused to sleep and eat. Why Jamie and I were so exhausted. And worried. And scared. We knew why. I had recently told you. Over the phone of course. It was one of our weekly conversations. We talked about the weather first. Then football. My job. And then Jamie.…
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