3 Autism Assumptions

So, it’s Autism Awareness month and if you are like me you kinda giggle when you get to the “awareness” part.

Pretty sure most people are aware that autism exists but depending on what generation they fall in, autism exists in their mental image catalog as scenes from “Rainman” or the “Good Doctor” or “Atypical” all of which represent my daughter Isla, well, ZERO. Not even close.

Here is just a quick look at some of the more common assumptions floating around and I’ll let Isla help me squash those assumptions once and for all.

Only after you read Isla’s full story can you fully appreciate the humor I find in this common assumption. But let me tell you this for now.

Just the other night Isla spent 30 minutes making fart noises with some weird goop, slime stuff while laughing hysterically and blaming every single fart on her baby brother Major. Then she sang and danced around in pajamas (that were two sizes too small and totally not matching) to the song, “This Girl is on Fire” like 10 times before ending her solo dance party with “Despacito”.

My friends, let me assure you, the only sad thing about Isla having autism is how society will treat her because of it. My girl ALWAYS chooses joy and has a lot to teach us if we let her. Isla has unique challenges that require super creative strategies to help her understand that she is responsible for her choices and her life. She is NOT sick.

In fact, my other two kids go to the pediatrician with all kinds of crap WAY more than Isla. Just saying.

Hey so let’s have a little chat about that puzzle piece shirt you’ve been wearing this month. I have read many blogs and posts and opinions about the puzzle piece. Some love it. Some hate it.

Some are downright offended by it and have large petitions to change it. I get it.

When you have researched and know the full and true history behind the puzzle piece it is horrifying and tragic but my friends, it is 2019 and we have way bigger fish to fry when it comes to building tolerance and respect for this population of people.

So I say whatever symbol works, so be it. For me it does not insinuate that Isla is missing a piece. It insinuates that society is missing a piece that only people like Isla can fill.

So I challenge you to decide WHY you wear the puzzle piece and know WHAT it represents to you. If you know why you wear it and have pure intentions, than I say BRAVO!

As for Isla fitting in, well maybe WE should stop focusing on changing autistic behaviors and instead let’s work on destigmatizing them.

After 10 years I have decided that I will not try to make Isla blend in and follow. How could I? She was born to stand out and lead.

So all month you wore your puzzle piece T-shirt with pride (because now you know WHY you wear it) and maybe you even followed my social media and read all nine M.o.C.h.A stories.

So now you are closing out April thankful that you have learned so much about the world of autism. Sorry to burst your bubble but not even close.

Isla is a SINGLE story. Each M.o.C.h.A. is a SINGLE story.

Whatever picture you have in your head of autism, whether it’s Isla, or a cute boy roaring like a lion, or a child that flaps their hands, or the child in the fetal position rocking back and forth, or the non-verbal child that miraculously can sing like an angel that you saw on YouTube, or that teenager whose basketball team let him make a basket in a big game you saw on Twitter that one time, or that young adult featured in the news article you read that can’t tolerate a crowd or classroom but is a genius mathematician…yeah all individually just one story.

To meet or know one person with autism is to meet or know ONE person with autism.

So the biggest take away is just be kind. Don’t assume. Know that EVERYONE has a story and each one is unique.

Let’s stop judging and assuming we know what is best for someone based on their diagnosis and let’s first start getting to know them as a person.

Written by, Dr. Lisa Peña

Dr. Lisa Peña is a Today Show Parenting Team contributor and the founder and president of the non profit The M.o.C.h.A.(TM) Tribe which stands for (M)oms (o)f (C)hildren that (h)ave (A)utism. She is the author behind The M.o.C.h.A. Tribe Diaries which is a website/blog devoted to squashing the idea that autism has a single story and author of a newly published book, “Waiting for the Light Bulb” available on Amazon. Dr. Peña is also the director of an annual wellness retreat for mother’s with special needs children called The Ultimate M.o.C.h.A. Session. She is a rookie author but a professional mother of a child with an incredibly unique subset of autism called, pathological demand avoidance (PDA). Dr. Peña is a proud coach’s wife, a clinical pharmacist, passionate public speaker and a busy mom of three who happily resides in South Padre Island, TX. You can follow her story on her website and on Facebook.

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