It’s Different Than What I Pictured

When I pictured my son at age 8, I thought it would be full of sports. Throwing baseballs. Riding bikes.

I thought we’d be building with Legos. And playing PIG at the neighborhood basketball court.

I pictured play dates. And never ending birthday parties.

I thought we’d be arguing over math homework. And trying to get you to wash your face. And of course conversations about Minecraft.

I thought you’d be so popular. And that your life would be so busy I’d be praying for time to slow down. I was sure you’d grow up way to fast.

It’s different than what I pictured.

Instead, there is nothing fast about it. We live in a special place where at times it feels like time is frozen. Every day the same.

We hunt trains. We sit in the car and wait for that loud whistle. You gasp when you hear it. And I catch it on video so you can watch it over and over again.

I draw tractors and buses. We look at photos and talk about the faces we see.

We laugh at elephants. We dance to Barney.

We giggle at hiccups and sneezes. I tickle you. I kiss your neck.

You hold my hand. You sneak in my bed every night.

You smell like the wind.

You are always moving. And when I catch you, I never, ever want to let go.

It’s different than I pictured. And even more special than I imagined.

As a new mom, I thought we needed Legos, sports and words. I was wrong. Thank you kid for showing me that. And also for giving me the time to appreciate it.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.