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Just the Way You Are
She looked like a typical little girl, bright curious eyes, adorable curls, a laugh that made you instantly smile. She loved water, spinning in circles and all things Barney. She loved dirt and rocks and playing with bubbles. She would swing on her belly for long periods of time. All these things didn’t seem that out of the ordinary for a two year old. Although when you looked closer; You could see she wasn’t talking or even saying words. Her food choices were extremely limited. Her understanding was inconsistent and…
Read MoreReady for Forever
This morning I thought about forever, as we woke up before the sun, and hurried to get ready to go find trains. This is what we do. When you first find out you’re going to become a parent you think about raising a child, sending them off to college, and watching them get married and start a family of their own. I’m not saying he won’t ever do any of these things, but I’m also saying we aren’t promised he will either. The day you find out you’re not just…
Read MoreOur Kids Intuitively Know the Value of Following Their Own Path
Intrinsic value means something is valuable or interesting because of its basic nature or character and not because of its connection with other things. All people are inherently valuable without their connection to other things. Our uniqueness, individual qualities, and mark on this world rely on our individuality. No two people carry the same characteristics as any other person in this world. Because of this, we all carry a special kind of value and currency. Our autistic kids, Nixon, age six, and Nora, age three, shine a special magnifying glass…
Read MoreWhat Families Like Mine Wish You Knew
Today I want to share with you a story, it’s the story of families like ours. It’s the story of those of us that are living a life with a family member who has complex needs. Today, I want to give you a peek behind the curtain so that, if you don’t live this life, you can maybe understand it a little better. Please know that every family like ours needs understanding, it can be a lonely road we walk. We often find comfort from the people that have similar…
Read MoreShe Has A Friend
When my daughter began her new school, I was hopeful. I knew there would be some learning and life skills but if I am being honest what I really wanted most for her was a friend. Of course, I wanted her to learn and to become more independent and all those things are happening, but a friend was something I wanted for her. My daughter does not have sleepovers or go to the mall with a friend. She does not talk on the phone (is that still a thing?) but…
Read MoreThe First Time I Heard Autism
Hot, sweaty, and out of breath in the middle of winter I sat in a full doctor’s office lobby. Due to construction, the area we were in held patients waiting for the pediatricians as well as those waiting for gynecologists. It was packed. My newly two year-old son would not hold still while we waited. I chased him around the room and brought him back to his chair over and over. The waiting area wasn’t enclosed and there were stairs nearby. Not ideal. Names were being called one by one…
Read MoreLittle Big Things
When I share my son’s autism, my favorite parts to share are the little big things. The moments that happen that are so huge, yet so subtle, that sometimes I don’t realize they happened until hours later. Like this morning. At 3 am. When I was awake with a toddler who refuses to develop a love for sleep like her mama. My son Cooper is 11 years old. A tween. A soon to be sixth grader. He loves bullet trains, his grandparents, and episodes of Family Feud. He wants to…
Read MoreFinding Cooper’s Voice Brunch: A Place I Belonged
The kind of isolation I feel as the mom to an autistic child is hard to explain. For me it is not always being alone or being ostracized by others. I grew up one of six kids. I can handle alone because it was my sanctuary as a child. This is different. I remember before we even knew it was autism, I began searching. Searching for what was happening. Instead of enjoying play groups or church, I was anxiously watching my son behave differently than the other toddlers. I would…
Read MoreOur Wilderness Trip to the Wisconsin Dells
A few days ago, our family returned from our first ever Spring Break vacation. Because we are unable to fly right now (it’s a huge goal for Cooper but he’s not there ‘yet) we decided to visit the Wisconsin Dells. A destination about 3 hours away from us that has the best waterparks. All three of our boy’s love swimming and it’s an activity that we can all do together. And our absolutely hands down favorite place to stay and swim in the Dell is The Wilderness Resort. For many…
Read More7 Signs of Caregiver Burnout
Hi, my name is Kate and I am a mom with caregiver burnout. Some of you may shake your head at that. You don’t believe me. How can a mom be a caregiver to their child? Is that even a thing? A mom is a mom and caring for their child is in the job description. I agree but caring for a child with severe autism is so much more. It’s an up all night, never sit down, zero to life journey. I have 2 children. Cooper, my first born, is…
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