Guest Post
Letting Go of the Shame of Autism
I remember it like it was yesterday. It will be 30 years this month that I experienced rejection for the very first time in my life. I was beginning my grade 9 school year. After a summer being away from home, I was nervous to come back to school for some reason. I tried to comfort myself by saying, ‘Wendy, don’t be silly, you have been best friends with these girls for 4 years, everything is going to be fine. You are in the popular group. Everything will be great.’…
Read MoreTo my Fellow Target Shopper
“You are a little too big to be sitting in there don’t you think?” So said the elderly woman at Target, with a chuckle and a wink, to my Isla as she sat with her knees grazing her chest in the shopping cart. I was tired. My body, my spirit, tired. The summer has been so long. I had zero make-up on but I had brushed my teeth, put a cap on to hide my unkept hair and managed sufficient deodorant swipes so I was totally winning the day in…
Read MoreNo Autism, Just Love
“Today has been tough. Aubrey has told me all day long, “I don’t want a brother.” Multiple times, and always very serious and sad. I asked her why she felt that way and she said, “Because he just cries too much.” I froze. Aside from wanting to tell her that she does the same and yet we still keep her around, I decided to give her grace instead. I tried to explain to her why her brother gets upset sometimes, and has a hard time staying calm, and that it’s…
Read MoreA Letter To The Counseling Faculty of My Graduate Program
To the Counseling Faculty, You were not sure how I would be able to be successful in your graduate program because I used a communication device and had physical limitations. You had concerns about how I would keep up with the fast pace of the courses because I need more time to complete coursework that were to be done during class. It is no surprise that I was not like the other students in my cohort, but you still accepted me into your program. During my time as an undergraduate,…
Read MoreThe First Person Who Said It
As goes the public domain of the internet, all bloggers get trolls on their pages. I handle them by deleting their posts and shutting them down. I deleted four comments this week because I’m too busy to engage with people who can’t be reached. I want to be here for all of the moms who have emailed me and reached out to tell me how my story has helped them. This leads me to why I share our story. Why do I expose myself to the crazies of the internet? …
Read MoreIs That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
Read MoreI Saw You Today
I saw you today. In fact I saw several of you. I was the mom picking up some groceries with my son. My autistic son, that’s all he is. No need to walk on eggshells around us, we were just fine. But I’m not sure you were. When he made unusual noises as I stood at the deli counter you were allowed to smile at me and say hello. It would’ve gone a long way to put me at ease. It wasn’t necessary to look past us as if we…
Read MoreMy Boyfriend, My Love, is Autistic
I’ve been sitting on this for a long time. I never wrote it into words because I didn’t feel I had the adequate vocabulary to do. I still don’t but I think that’s the point. Seven years ago I met my now boyfriend. He was weird. Everyone was weird to me, including myself. We never really spoke until 2 years ago. It started when I reached out because I was worried about him. He talked to me in a way I knew he didn’t talk to anyone else. I didn’t…
Read MoreMissing the Me I Might Have Been
On the way home from a special needs event I was actually able to talk my daughter into attending, we stopped at Starbucks drive through. As I waited in line, I watched people getting out of their cars and going inside. Families laughing and enjoying the Florida sunshine. Most were probably tourists, since I was about 15 min from the gates of Disney World. We got our drinks and then I hopped on the interstate to head home. We had a really good day today. Casadee attended the special rodeo…
Read MoreTo my Son’s Teacher
Tomorrow my son will start in your classroom. It will be our first real time spent apart since he was born. I worry you won’t like him. I’m afraid he’ll be too much for you to handle. Everyone tells me this will be good for him…good for me. I hope you love him like your own. Chances are, my little guy will have no idea I’ve even dropped him off because he lives in his own world. He will probably grab your hand and happily go with you because he…
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