My Boyfriend, My Love, is Autistic

I’ve been sitting on this for a long time. I never wrote it into words because I didn’t feel I had the adequate vocabulary to do. I still don’t but I think that’s the point. 

Seven years ago I met my now boyfriend. He was weird. Everyone was weird to me, including myself.

We never really spoke until 2 years ago. It started when I reached out because I was worried about him.

He talked to me in a way I knew he didn’t talk to anyone else. I didn’t know him well but I knew him enough to knew that it was different.

It was special. 

I invited him out places and he came. I could tell he was anxious but he stuck through it each time because I wanted him there.

I made sure he knew that. He would come to my house and we would talk for hours about serious things and not so serious things.

I’m not going to lie, it felt really nice to hang out with someone as friends and not be expected to be anything more or anything less.

I was my crazy loud, super quirky, and really talkative self. Usually that bothers people but it didn’t bother him.

He kept coming and I kept talking. 

A few weeks passed and it hit me that I had feelings for him. That freaked me out but I knew I had to tell him at some point. That point came and I told him.

You would’ve thought fireworks had gone off. He seemed incredibly shocked. It was funny to me that he was shocked but I think it was fitting for him to react that way. 

Now it has been over a year we have been on our journey together. It’s been an adventure for sure, but mostly because he taught me how to be adventurous again.

He showed me the fun in life I had forgotten was there.

He showed me that life doesn’t always need to be so serious but he also showed me sometimes it needs to be. 

I’m his person.

When we are out somewhere together and we get separated, I catch a glimpse of him and each time he is searching for me. No matter where we are, whether it is together or apart, he looks for me. 

He’s my person. When I hear of something exciting, he’s the one I want to tell first.

When I go to the grocery store, I see things that make me think of him. No matter where I am, everything reminds me of him. 

He likes to think that I’m this huge blessing but it’s wild to think that way for me because I know how much he has impacted my life and my heart. He has made me more patient, more understanding, more comforting, and more loving.

Whenever something is wrongfully done to me, he tells me to stand up for myself. Because of that, he has made me more bold. 

Here’s the part I struggled to write for so long.

My boyfriend – my right hand, my fierce protector, my love – is autistic.

I couldn’t care less that he is but it does make me love him differently.

That’s okay. I know him now.

I know when to hold him and I know when to talk and I know when to sit in silence until he is better. That’s the thing about him.

He will get better and he knows it. I am protective over him more so than I am with anyone else in my life.

I don’t know if it’s because he needs me to be or because it’s just my heart, but I am.

When someone says an ill thing regarding the fact he is autistic, I can feel the anger rising inside of me. 

He is autistic but he is so much more than that. He knows everything there is to know about cars.

He can tell you every memory he has of having hot sauce. He can eat food faster than anyone else. He can learn something just by seeing it done one time. H

e is so gentle with children. He understands more than anyone else I know. Autism doesn’t define anyone. That’s not all they are. 

If you’ve read this far, which I doubt many people will, I pray to the good Lord above that when you encounter someone with autism that you don’t talk behind their backs.

I pray you don’t leave them out. I pray you don’t tease them. I pray you welcome them into your conversations.

I pray you invite them places. I pray you are nice to them. I pray all of these things not because you pity them.

I pray all of these things because they are people, just like you and me.

Don’t throw them a pity party. Treat them as a human.

I pray all of these things because I’ve seen what the good and bad has done to my boyfriend. 

If anyone reading this has done the things I pray you don’t do, I feel sorry.

I feel sorry you missed out on a potentially great friendship or a great conversation.

I don’t feel anger towards you because I know you did it because so many others do.

I hope we all do better next time – for my boyfriend’s sake and for anyone else who has been made to feel bad because of something they can’t change. 

To anyone who has felt bad because of something you can’t change – whether it’s autism or something different – I am sorry.

Please forgive. People are cruel and I’m not perfect either so please forgive me too.

Most importantly, know your worth. You are loved. You may be last in this world but you are first in God’s eyes.

This was written by Brooklyn, my 18 year old son’s NT , intelligent, beautiful girlfriend. Don’t give up parents. I wanted to just cave and give up and quit so many times and I fell short and made mistakes so many times. But they can have a future. The young lady is our sunshine and most definitely my sons. She sees things in him I lost touch with due to adolescences and puberty and trying to teach him right from wrong.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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