Guest Post
Being a Light for Others
This newspaper article has been hanging on my fridge since my son E was five years old. And it will stay there forever. It is the fourth interview I did with our local newspaper and has my favorite title: “Autism doesn’t change children’s core”. This aged paper, changing with time, is part of us. We age and change along with it. To me it is a reminder of where we were and how far we have come from the darkest times of our Autism journey. The times of loneliness and…
Read MoreA Letter to My Son and His Friends, Graduates of the Class of 2021
Congratulations, graduates! Not only have you graduated in the midst of a global pandemic under extreme circumstances of social isolation, strict quarantines, and frequent cancellations; but you have done so with many academic achievements and honors, athletic awards, and college scholarships. You have given yourselves and your families so many reasons to be proud! While these achievements should be acknowledged and celebrated, I believe there is something you have demonstrated that is even more important, your kind heart! From the time I first met all of you, you have shown…
Read MoreThe Words I Couldn’t Say
Last night, when the mosquitoes stirred on our damp lawn, Willow stirred too. I asked her to grab her sandals and we went for a walk. We walked to the end of our street where I lit a sparkler for her. She danced entranced swinging the metal stick in the air. I took her for a walk because her mind and body needed to regulate. She was a mess and going for this walk would very methodically prevent a meltdown and a potential bolt. I scratched my eyes and thought…
Read MoreThe Autism Sibling
Many nights I lay awake wondering if you will be okay… I know you feel alone, but you’re not alone. I am here with you. I know you are scared, but don’t be, Mommy is here for you. I know you don’t quite understand it all. It’s ok, because Mommy is here to help you. You get angry and that’s ok. You have every right, because it’s not fair. You wonder why this happened to you. Mommy will help you get through it. You wonder if I see you. I…
Read MoreYou are a Gift to all of Us
Dear Daughter, You are such a light in our lives and in the world. You are smart, strong, beautiful and have a heart of gold. You are full of compassion for others (and a pinch of sass). I can only imagine what it must be like growing up with a sibling with autism. I mean, we as adults get stressed, anxious and sometimes scared, so I know it must be the same for you. Kids are supposed to grow up in a calm environment and sometimes that’s just not possible…
Read MoreWhen I Dream I Hear Your Voice
When I dream, I hear your voice. The sweet song that will be snatched away by the light of day and eyes awake. You tell me stories of your life, a life that I have never known and will never know outside of eyes closed. You sing tenderly to me as we walk hand in hand. Your body moves like velvet falling over a keyboard. Smooth. Gentle. Quiet. You point to fascinations and exclaim delight. All the words that you require are no longer lost. You are no longer lost.…
Read MoreHelping Your Children Find Their Way
When your son shouts “Shopping!” at 6:50am, you forget about a lie in, pull on yesterday’s joggers, and get your son dressed. You react to a verbal request with no hesitation. You do it because you have spent years waiting for your son to talk. Years crouching down, holding up picture sequence cards and trying to work out what your son wants. Years praying to hear his voice, the tone, the amplification, the bit of his personality that you have waited to get to know. As you turn into the…
Read MoreSaying “Yes” to Help Doesn’t Make You Weak
Let’s see if this sounds familiar to any of you. A few months ago I was at the vet with my two dogs and two kids. As I sat there struggling, I was trying to keep two dogs back from trying to greet all the other dogs in the room. I had my autistic son in between my legs keeping him from collapsing on the floor and stopping him from running free. I had the dog’s paperwork in one hand being juggled and occasionally falling on the floor. My daughter…
Read MoreHer Successes Matter Too
It’s that time of year again, graduation. As I scroll through Facebook, I see post after post of adoring parents boasting the accomplishments of their children: Grade Point Average, college pursuits, athletic achievements, class rankings, and more. These parents are excited and proud! They and their children have worked very hard and this is their time to celebrate the achievements of their children. This year, I am among them. My third child is graduating from high school. So it’s my turn to boast: He’s Valedictorian, ranked 7th in his class with a 4.14…
Read MoreA Parent’s Connection Beyond Words
“Hey best buddy, do you want to play ball with L and I?” Andy asked, as Leo whizzed by, plopping himself firmly on the grass, contagious giggles roaring from deep within his belly. I sat beside my boy, gently scratching his back, while he busily gathered grass and dirt, shuffling them between his fingertips, watching intently as the football whirled by him, back and forth between Andy and our young family member visiting. A game of catch. A past time often enjoyed by father and son; yet, not only challenging…
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