Guest Post
Look For the Silver Lining
So many things could be said about the lack of “sunshine” surrounding a diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s labeled as rigid. And scary. And lonely. And most people (including us early on) are uneducated about ASD. Simply because it is thought to be almost “taboo”. In our case, we went through all the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining… all of them). Then you do yourself a favor, and you arm yourself with knowledge. Suddenly, the sky clears up, and you come around to the “acceptance” stage. I…
Read MoreSomewhere in the Middle Of Hope
Most days you can find me somewhere in the middle of hope at the intersection of not knowing what I’m doing nor where I’m going. This is the life I’ve grown accustomed to-the autism life. Covid-19 isn’t my first “new normal” receiving an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis for my son three years ago was. In an instant our priorities and responsibilities changed, our entire world was rocked as we knew it by autism. My son Stalen was diagnosed on the spectrum at twenty-one months. He is considered non-verbal. Today, he is a…
Read More“You Need To Calm Down”
Yesterday I decided we needed to get out for one last summer weekend…take a chance with masks, and take a chance with the world. Going out is never simple. Johnny’s mood, my mood, his little sister’s mood, are all factors. For Johnny it’s the hardest, he finds the world difficult. It’s uncomfortable and unpredictable. We went to an outdoor mall that has a farmers market in the summer. As always, there were ups and downs but it was good. We bought veggies and treats. We wandered and spent time together.…
Read MoreSilence
Early this morning, I took my middle son, one of the twins who is Autistic, with me to run some errands. I did my usual commute to town which is about thirty minutes away. I went through the drive thru and grabbed an iced coffee, went to our pharmacy for medications and then I grabbed some breakfast. As I was in the last drive thru for the morning (which was crazy long), I started to ponder to myself… Wow it’s so quiet in this car. I thought back from home,…
Read MoreI Hear You, I See You, You Are Strong
I hear you. I see you. During the pandemic my son with Autism has really regressed. Oppositional Defiance Disorder has come to live in our home and it in itself, can break you down. From the second my feet hit the floor I am on high alert every second of the day. I don’t shower without another adult to watch him, I can’t use the restroom unless he is with me and you NEVER turn your back. I did that for three seconds last week and it ended in a…
Read MoreDo You Ever Wonder?
“Do you ever still wonder what he would be like if he didn’t have Down syndrome?” She asked. It was an honest question from a new friend. She is several years behind me in this journey of parenting a child with Down syndrome. I vividly remember being where she is now. I remember feeling like the odd one out amongst family and friends- I was the 20-something who had a child with a disability. I watched as their children hit the milestones at the appointed time on that now dreaded…
Read MoreTo Any Special Needs Parent Who’s Having One Of Those Days
Dear Special Needs Parent, I know some days are tough. You are beaten down. Your child is having a meltdown. Your teenager is having challenges at school and your young adult is desperately trying to be placed in a job or find somewhere to live. No matter what the obstacle is, we’ve all been there, special need parent or not. We want to run away at times because we wonder to ourselves “Will it get better? CAN it get better?” Your son can’t be bathed because of the texture of…
Read MoreI Hope They’re Nice
I’m a fairly laid back mom. I roll with a situation because if there is one thing I’ve learned in my almost seven year parenting journey is that NOTHING will go as planned. If it does, I usually listen extra carefully because I’m sure the apocalypse or Jesus are coming. One thing that special needs parenting in particular has taught me is that you need to have a plan months in advanced and while making that plan you should probably make plans B-Z because there’s a chance that what ends…
Read MoreSix More Years
On this day, six years ago we were so confident in our adoption journey, we shared that we had been chosen. As I look at us and who we were, I see so much more than two rested soon to be parents. I remember the tears, the years and the struggle to become parents. I remember the decade of living with an empty crib as various agencies told us we were ready and waiting. The dreams of what it would be like. Mostly, I remember the joy that filled my…
Read MoreSometimes You Just Do Not Need Words
My daughter does not speak as much as a three and half year old should. She thinks a lot. She understands. She is very bright but she cannot express her feelings and experiences into words. She has never said her belly hurts or that she is scared. I have never heard about her day. She has never asked me why a sound of something is super loud, in fact she has never asked me a question about anything, not one single time. The other day I picked her up…
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