Autism
Someone I’m With has Autism
The other day I took my son Jack to the dermatologist. It was a routine visit, nothing out of the ordinary. I did what I always do when it comes to Jack and his appointments. Over the phone, I explained he has autism, and it might seem like he isn’t listening at first. He takes a while to answer questions. Also, he might jump around a little if he gets restless. On the drive to the office, I took Jack through a quick social story about wearing his mask, sitting in the…
Read MoreAs a Special Needs Sibling, She Will Learn From Him Too
She sat beside me in the car, diligently working on sorting letters from the Elmo case she so often carries in her clutches, occupying much of her days… We waited for her Brother, who inside the adjacent building sat working on his own set of goals, alongside his SLP, and OT. “A for Apple! B is for Baby!” Eva proudly exclaimed, gazing up at me, her smile filled with wonder and excitement. A girl after my own heart…her love of books, words, and the letters that encompass them all emanates…
Read MoreDreams Don’t Die, They Change
We all remember that day. The visit, the phone call, or the letter. And you hear or read those words: “Your child is on the autism spectrum.” I know I will never forget. I can still hear the Dr. saying, “We can go two different routes here. We can give the diagnosis of PDD/NOS or Autism.” I think he was truly trying to spare us that ominous word. I voted for Autism. I knew enough to know that the diagnosis of autism was our ticket to services. See, this all…
Read MoreThank You to the Doctor Who Heard My Cry for Help
I am writing this letter to thank the doctor who gave my daughter a fighting chance. You were the first person to listen to our cry for help. I was a new mom. My daughter was not meeting her milestones on time. There were so many nights that she just cried for hours. There was something wrong. Her helpless little body could not tell me the real reason things were not going well. It was heartbreaking. This was not what I imagined when deciding to become a mother. I…
Read MoreAll I Can Do Is Hold Him
This is the face of a child who has suffered so much during this lockdown. And yet, he still smiles. He doesn’t understand why things are closed, or why he cannot go to school. He doesn’t understand why his favorite places are closed or why we stay home all the time. He doesn’t understand why we need to wear masks. I have tried, but he cannot wear one. It’s hard to explain to people why. No, he can’t wear a visor instead, trust me we are still working on it.…
Read MoreHe is Doing His Best
Last night we visited an arcade. It was a big adventure for our little family. Our middle son loves all things game. The baby loves tagging after his older brother. And Cooper, our eldest son, he is just starting to take in the world outside of our home. He is ten years old. He loves trains and postcards with animals on them. He also has autism. He is autistic. And nonverbal. Those are his descriptions written on the piece of paper in my drawer in a file marked, Cooper’s Med…
Read MoreRoad Trip
We are headed to a pool and our three boys are so excited. We have a long drive ahead of us…3 hours! In Sawyer’s mind that’s ‘like two whole days!’ Cooper is wonderful in the car which is night and day different than it used to be. He’s been packed and ready to go since first light this morning. And by packed I don’t mean clothes…I mean his treasures. They are in that bag he is holding. It’s his happy stuff. The baby is the most challenging one in the…
Read MoreThe Importance of Being Present
Last week I brought my son to his hockey practice. It had been a long day and honestly I was so excited to sit in the bleachers, put my feet up, and relax. And of course I was happy to watch my son. For the next hour I watched him do drills, scrolled through Facebook, answered work emails, and peeked at Pinterest. When I met him after to take his skates off, the first thing he said to me was…’you spent the whole time on your phone doing your job.…
Read MoreTrying to Stop Time
My son, Your birthday is in 8 days. You have been counting down since mid December. You love your birthday. And you love being older. So much so that you are already telling people you are 8 years old. I lovingly correct you every time, reminding you that you are still my 7 year old. I also threaten you with a potion that will keep you little forever. But you have no time for that nonsense. You want to grow up. I want time to stop. Last night you snuggled…
Read MoreLet’s Lower the Bar for a Minute, Shall We?
Yesterday I got the email from a special education teacher. “You’re daughter is getting an F in math”. But my mind is far from academics at the moment. My mind is on the ortho surgery my 15 year old daughter with ASD, ADHD (combo type), OCD, SPD, GAD and severe depression will have this coming Monday. She told the surgeon ‘to hurry the fu*k up’ when he was putting on hand sanitizer entering the consult room the other day. My mind is on counting calories to prevent introducing a new med due to her recent weight gain. Weight gain caused by a medication we do…
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