As a Special Needs Sibling, She Will Learn From Him Too

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She sat beside me in the car, diligently working on sorting letters from the Elmo case she so often carries in her clutches, occupying much of her days…

We waited for her Brother, who inside the adjacent building sat working on his own set of goals, alongside his SLP, and OT.

“A for Apple! B is for Baby!” Eva proudly exclaimed, gazing up at me, her smile filled with wonder and excitement.

A girl after my own heart…her love of books, words, and the letters that encompass them all emanates through her in the most joyous way.

I watched my girl revel in the same activity I’ve worked on with Leo since he was her age…those same letters, which brought my sweet boy joy by him lining them up in a meticulous, and repetitive fashion.

They also represent so much in the way of his challenges.

Leo’s primary way of communicating for the past 10 years has been the epitome of the saying “love needs no words.”

I am constantly in awe of his ability to connect with myself and others through unspoken language.

Yet, it doesn’t negate the fact that having more language, more words would make life infinitely less challenging for my boy.

And despite how hard he works, those words in so many ways continue to elude us.

“Okay, Eva, it’s time to put letters away, we need to go get Bro Bro, he’s almost done with Speech.”

“Bro Bro!” She yelled out with excitement, as she hurriedly secured her letters, and shut the case.

Leo’s happy squeals resonated through the hallway, as we approached the therapy room, Eva’s giggles in response to hearing her brother’s voice, audible through her tiny mask.

He was finishing up an activity on the IPad as we entered the room, his baby sissy staring up at him in awe of her cool big brother, while we gathered his belongings and chatted briefly with his SLP.

Walking towards our car, my two babies in tow, I couldn’t help but think about their bond, as I often do…I know there will be changes as they grow, as is the case with most sibling relationships.

But I hope that through it all, Eva will always look at her brother with that same sense of love and adoration.

A few days ago, while in the throes of our morning routine, Eva babbled away in her highchair chomping away on some cheerios, as I busily organized materials for remote learning that day.

In the midst of it all, I turned to find Leo standing in front of me holding out the t.v. remote, a look of intent burrowed within his brows, as he pursed his lips together, concentrating on the words, each syllable, and sounds he wanted so badly to say.

“A for Apple! B Baby!”

He blurted out, for the first time, as clear as day, his gaze fixed on mine, before slowly shifting towards his baby sissy.

Eva’s favorite video currently, is an alphabet phonics song, which she requests often, using the phrase, “A is for apple.”

As I listened to the familiar tune, watching my two children soak in what each letter stands for, I took such comfort in the realization that as they grow, they will continue to not just watch out, and adore one another.

But, learn from each other as well.

Written by, Ellie Whetzel

Ellie Whetzel is a wife, Mom, and blogger who writes about the ups, the downs, and everything in between of life with her extraordinary son, Leo, who is on the Autism Spectrum. You can follow their journey at: https://www.facebook.com/mylifewithleo/

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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