Archive for January 2021
You Will Get Better Mama
I know, mama. I know that right now it’s really bad. I know that it feels like the world is crumbling around you and you don’t know how you are going to move on. One day, things won’t be so scary. Don’t get me wrong…it is always going to be hard. The hard will never really get better, but you will mama. You will get better. You will get better at the paperwork. One day, those forms won’t make you cry. You will get better at the meetings. One day,…
Read MoreTo the Special Needs Mom Hiding, You Are Not Alone
Dear Momma, I see you, driving down the road with tears in your eyes. I see the deer caught in headlights look as your hands firmly grip the wheel. You sob, uncontrollably, afraid to utter the words that well within your body. I know you utter how much your child is loved, how you wouldn’t change them for the world, that you will get through it together but I know you’d give your life in a heartbeat to have it so your child didn’t struggle with aggression. I know the…
Read MoreOur Life, With No Apologies
No one person knows my life, the extent of what I have witnessedin sterile hospital rooms while my daughters beautiful minds seized for what seemed to be an eternity. Nor do they know the joy and pride in my heart when my nonverbal child signs “I love you” to me and I can feel the depth of her love through her tight squeezes and occasional love pinches. I have been battered with sleepless nights of chaos, insulin, low alert alarms, pure worry and panic of a life altering seizure or…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to Those who Bully People With Special Needs
Dear Bully, When I was in public school I used to be bullied by people like you. You would see me in the corner, usually trying to keep to myself and wonder why I was there. Other times you would see me having issues reading out loud in class and snicker while I tried to pronounce different words. You’d take my inability to understand sarcasm as a way to get me in trouble. Worst of all, you’d make me feel like an outsider when more than anything I wanted to…
Read MoreHappy Birthday Sweet Boy
Please help me wish this little cutie a happy 8th birthday today! I know it’s cliche, but the days are long and the years are short. I’m not sure how he’s 8 already! He will forever be my little buddy. Happy birthday Sawyer! Now time needs to stop! I can’t have you grow up anymore. Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once…
Read MoreThis is the Part No One Talks About
I went to an event a while back, before COVID-19, to honor and celebrate special needs moms. It was one of the first times I realized how lucky I was that my son just had ‘autism.’ He isn’t medically complex. He isn’t terminal. He can run and eat, and we don’t live a chunk of our lives at Children’s Hospital. We are the lucky ones. Story after story was told. Mother after mother. All unique. All important. One of the moms spoke about the moment her daughter passed, and they…
Read MoreSlow Down Little One
There is something that happens between ages 7 and 8 in little boys. A part of development I didn’t know about. I was sitting on the couch a while ago when I heard the door burst open. I was confused because my son had just left mere minutes earlier to go sledding with our family friends. I yelled his name out. Just to make sure it was him. When he rounded the corner he ran to me and jumped into my arms. I held him like he was little again.…
Read MoreCommunication With Cooper
When it’s just Cooper and his dad and I, the house is pretty quiet. No brothers fighting for attention. No talk of monster trucks in mud or hockey practice. Well, I mean, Blue Mountain Mystery is usually singing from an iPad and I’m constantly saying, ‘turn it down Cooper.’ But besides that, it’s pretty quiet. You will hear an occasional laugh and giggle. A gasp. A question from me. But chatter back and forth…nope. Cooper is ten years old. He has never coo’d. He never babbled. When he was younger…
Read MoreAn Important Lesson
My family visited my dad today. With covid precautions, it’s been quite some time since we’ve seen him. As I sat with him today, I found myself thinking back. Nearly two years ago, my stepmom lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. The night before we lost her, I was driving my dad back to his house, from the nursing home where she would spend her last days. It was nearing midnight. He was exhausted, close to 80 himself. He needed to rest for a few hours. It was foggy and…
Read MoreSpecial Needs Behaviors Can’t be Fixed With Traditional Discipline
We need to talk about discipline. Particularly discipline and special needs children. My oldest has Autism and a handful of other diagnosis. For most of his younger years he simply did not have behaviors at home. His behaviors occurred at school and I strongly subscribed (past tense to some extent) to the ideology that kids should not be double punished. That if something happens at school, and the child receives a consequence, that the child should not be double punished at home. Then my life exploded. A handful of close deaths.…
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