Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs’
‘I’m Here Buddy’
Cooper has always reached for a hand to hold when we are in the community. But not just any hand. Typically mom or dad. He likes the comfort of us walking alongside him. Sometimes we lead. Sometimes he does. But he’s always an arms length away. We often refer to him as a little old man. Cautious. Careful. He points out ice and mud and dangerous terrain with a point and a gasp. He likes to lean in for hugs too. Which I soak up. On our walk tonight, my…
Read MoreWe Just Want to Help Our Son
I don’t understand anxiety but I’m trying. Most nights, after my son has fallen asleep, and I’ve tucked him in for the last time, I study his features and listen to his breathing. It is calm. Finally. When he sleeps, his worry is gone. It releases him for a few hours. I am thankful he can rest. Most nights I feel like a failure because I can’t take this burden from him. I can’t seem to fix it. Anxiety is slippery. It is sneaky and seemingly impossible to catch. But…
Read MoreIs This Our Forever?
Is this our forever? A good friend recently asked me what kinds of things my son Leo was interested in these days? “Toy Story, like always,” I responded, chuckling at the thought of how often I’d responded similarly over the years. For as long as I can remember, Leo has been transfixed by the popular series of films; his love for Sheriff Woody, Buzz, Andy, and the rest of the Pixar gang, have stood the test of time, resulting in a most impressive collection of Toy Story merchandise; from figurines,…
Read MoreMy Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect
My Husband. I love him with all my heart. Every fiber of my being. I have loved him since I was 16 years old. I don’t really know anything else. And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him. We don’t see eye to eye on many things. We fight a lot. He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter. At all. And frankly, it irritates me. Can’t he pretend to go along? He will humor me, but still, not happily. We have never had a…
Read MoreWaiting For Sister
Our fourth baby is due in 93 days. Not that I’m counting or anything. Although pregnancy in your late 30’s during a pandemic and a Minnesota winter with three wild boys is no joke. I’m trying to enjoy it. And I am. But tick tock over here. Yesterday, as I was attempting to sneak a few minutes of alone time midday, my two older boys made their way into my room. They always find me. Sawyer pulled up a pillow and a blanket next to me and began watching a…
Read MoreOur Silent Journey
My sweet boy, We just got back from a car ride. We do that sometimes. You and me. We used to ride around to help you calm down. A much needed break for both of us to reset. Now we drive around and hunt for trains. Not a lot has changed over the years except now you are ten. And you can buckle your own seatbelt. A skill we worked on for years. A skill that you are incredibly proud of. We still ride mostly in silence. When you were…
Read MoreWe Wanted More
Did you know that someone once told me that our third son, the one in the middle, was a replacement child for Cooper? I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess. What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child. I’m not sure why we would ever replace Cooper. He’s very much here. He’s 10 and is currently waiting on two movies from Amazon. This morning he asked…
Read MoreThe World Needs Your Story
Here are 12 of the now nearly 100 members of Finding Cooper’s Voice Blog Squad. Daily they inspire, advocate, educate, and give hope to others going through the special needs life. Each of them has started either a blog and/or social media channels to help advocate. It has been amazing watching each of them grow and help others simply by sharing their story. Have a blog or social channels that’s focused on advocacy? Come join us! Here’s how: 1. Join Coop’s Troops: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/772295979579532/ 2. Join Coop’s Troop Blog Squad Remember,…
Read MoreDear Anxiety
Dear anxiety, You and me need to have a talk. Because this co-existing crap isn’t working anymore. We need to set up some rules. You have been with my son since birth, although, like his autism, we didn’t know until much later. You are a thief. A thief of joy, of calm, of growth. His and ours. I used to think of you as a monster. A loud, huge, lumbering monster coming right at us. Once I learned more about you, I could see you plain as day. You didn’t…
Read MoreIt’s Okay to Ask For Help
I’m really bad at asking for help. And I don’t mean that in a job interview sorta way where you say your biggest weakness is ‘doing too much’ because you secretly want to make yourself look good. Nope, this isn’t that. I’m really bad at asking for help. It’s a character flaw really. And it isn’t necessarily a good thing. It’s more of a sinking in a boat and someone throws you a life raft and you smile and say, ‘thank you, but I got this.’ When clearly, you don’t.…
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